Understanding The Batshit Leftist Protesters

We recently witnessed that the mere appearance of a certain popular Republican politician was cause to provoke area leftists to riot, viciously attack people and wantonly destroy property. But we must understand (as the Media clearly does) – none of the violence was the protesters’ fault. It was an organic response to what they view as “hate speech”.

Noted experts tell us the angry progressive protesters really can’t help themselves as their violent reactions are typically the result of an obverse neurocranial-colonorectal insection following the sudden, unexpected exposure to an opposing, though reasonable and rational form of discourse. Those so afflicted call it “hate speech” because they hate that they can’t comprehend the contents.

Bewildered by the unfamiliar and strangely-structured language, they’re like hippies in a bath tub. Logical expectations and linear thinking confuse and disorient them, triggering a Tourette’s like expression of random expletives and, in the absence of a well-provisioned safe space, countless acts of mindless violence.

So we see it’s not their fault they lose control, it’s just their condition. It’s not as if they want to destroy other peoples’ stuff, they are physiologically compelled to do so. We must therefore make rational allowances for their irresistible actions and resulting special needs.

Suggestions only. Your procedures may vary.

  • Stay away from them.
  • Don’t speak to them.
  • Don’t look them in the eye.
  • Don’t acknowledge their existence.
  • Threaten to shoot them if they come anywhere near your shit.
  • Shoot them before they get anywhere near your shit.
  • First shell is bird shot, second is bird shot, third is a slug.




  1. Or… 2nd shell is OO buckshot. 3rd shell probably wont matter if you practice proper muzzle control. Ammo is expensive.

  2. Let’s be fair about this but compromise. They should all get a free ride through college, but it will have to be Kent State.

  3. First and second shells are bird shot, third and fourth are #4 Buckshot, fifth and sixth are 00 Buckshot, seventh and eighth are slugs.
    You should own a tactical shotgun with a 7 round magazine, and one in the chamber.

  4. Or, simply carry a Taurus Judge loaded with .410 shells. Nothing like three .32 balls flying at you with every shot. No aiming required, either.

    These lefty people are total varmints. In reality, they’re really anarchists. The Trump protests with their escalating violence remind me of when I was in Chicago (don’t ask me why) a couple of years ago on May 1st. Walking back to Union Station to get a train, I encountered the Chicago commie May Day parade. The scumbags were literally wall to wall coming right at me down the street, being escorted by mounted cops. With fists in the air, screaming about “racism” and “economic injustice”, they came at me, and I had absolutely nowhere to go. I jumped into a doorway, and these fuckheads rolled right over me jostling me and pushing their way down the street. I’m yelling” Fuck you!” at them, while all the other non-marching Chicagoites are simply putting up with it. I said to one guy, “And you’re supposed to be the compassionate and gentle people?” He just looked at me like a mongoloid ape, and went back to gibbering and screaming.

    Perfect example of ignorant, infantile, and irrational leftist rage. None of their violence would be tolerated if the news media didn’t steadfastly support and defend communism and globalism.

  5. They make me so angry I want to meet them head on, but then I remember that would leave my shit vulnerable.

  6. Every society rests on a barbarian base. The people who don’t understand civilization, and wouldn’t like it if they did. The hitchhikers. The people who create nothing, and who don’t appreciate what others have created for them, and who think civilization is something that just exists and that all they need to do is enjoy what they can understand of it — luxuries, a high living standard, and easy work for high pay. Responsibilities? Phooey! What do they have a government for?

    — H. Beam Piper, <Space Viking (1963)

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