WELCOME TO THE RIGHTLY GUIDED:

She describes herself as such, in an interview. Says she’s warned America about Russia like Paul Revere warned of the British. Funniest part of that take is that the people trusted Revere. They didn’t put him out on his ass.

Way scarier Clown than IT, too.  The SHIT Clown – Pennysworth – ran the country for 8 whole years.  *shiver*

A potential Progressive Suppression solution from our brilliant researchers and scientists at The Taint Institute for Brilliant Research and Science.  Best of all, the target demographic will pay for the opportunity to enter the camp, providing all necessary funding for tent rentals, portable toilets, musical acts, etc.  Yet another potential revenue stream is presented by licensed merchandising – t-shirts, caps, fidget spinners, blankies, coloring books – the possibilities are endless.

We’re forwarding this one to the Kochs.

Not only will California not get better, they will get much worse.  On purpose. Sad!

UPDATE UPDATE: Many thanks to MJA at IOTW for the link!

UPDATE: A current roster of Monasteries in America

Keep this card in your wallet. Stare at it for a few seconds prior to any potentially dicey romantic occasion*.  Our patented Instant ED will take effect immediately** – leaving you completely incapable of performing any method of reproductive activity whatsoever.

The Kid is definitely not yours! What a Relief!!

*You strapped on the beer goggles, for example. This cuts right through that fog.

**Only normal heterosexual men were tested.  Your results may vary. Call your doctor if you achieve an erection of any duration, as this might indicate homosexual and/or bestial  tendencies. Stop looking at the card until you know for sure. Or not, like we really care.

It’s True

Un-believable.