Best Tears In The History Of Ever

We’ll be recalling the quality of this vintage fondly for generations to come. Here’s the story of the heroic Master Tear Farmer that brought them to us. Enjoy irresponsibly!

teary farmer

Just Enjoying The Day

mueller train

Millions Of Hopeful Children Left Profoundly Disillusioned By The Golden Promises Of Muellermas

2 years worth of completely unrealistic expectations end with a big giant sad? Take it up with your sources, snowflakes.


No New Indictments?

mueller report

Beto Road Trip


Step Aside Joe – There’s A New Kid In Town

It’s Beto Night!


Bonus Sunday Special! Poetry by Psychedelic Warlord



Her dad has a boatload of money.


Did you know Beato was in a band with Pee Wee Herman/Paul Reubens? He damn sure was, look:


Master Spy?

Silencing Beto – Gesticular Restraints

Some people (and yes, Betos are people) cannot speak without using their hands.

Here’s a safe, easy and cheap way to keep them quiet. Note the gesticles are fully restrained but in no danger of injury. They’ll speak again, good as new – but only when you say so. Stainless steel – One size fits most – $29.95 + s/h

quiet beto

Science Corner

The graphic below represents solid, undisputed and settled Science. It must not be disregarded by those who operate in close proximity to any Democrat Member of Congress, as their very minds could be at stake. This phenomena was observed at a recent event in Austin Texas, (as documented by this awesomely qualified source.)  Total loss of human intelligence was difficult to discern as it was held in Austin where there’s not much to start with. Except when the Legislature’s in session, in which case there’s even less. It would have been much, much worse if it happened someplace normal. Beware!

This fulfills our public service obligation for 2019. Thanks for looking at it.

black hole

Shocking News – Cory Booker Is Dating Who?

I find it hard to believe but he is a Democrat and the story’s getting headlines. Crazy world.


And Thanks to esteemed reader Steve for the inspiration.

Thousands Of Venezuelan Trash Truck Drivers Furloughed Due To Lack Of Trash



Joe’s In. Hmm

gropey joe