Reminder: New National Holiday Tomorrow Commemorates Hillary Clinton Not Being President

Join us as we pause to remember those who would willingly give our lives and fortunes to aid the furtherance of their own greed and ambition.  They stand out as icons within our history, representing what it means to be truly immoral and disgusting human beings.  Beginning tomorrow, we will gather as one community, in gratitude and pride that we kicked Hillary Clinton’s corrupt and nasty ass to the curb – and did not let her be President, forever. Hurrah! Amen.

unpresident

We never did a thing to try and make her dead (other than hoping and wishing but everybody does that).

To Die For

In solemn and profound honor of the brave Americans who’ve lost their lives in battle. This biscuit’s for you, boys.

md2017

Hm. But She Can See The Russians And Comey And The MISOGYNY!

She said she takes full responsibility. Like that means anything to a Clinton.

galiloser

National Geotardic Special: The Media Pounces

But after 8 years of hand-feeding, their hunting skills have diminished and they are forced to feed on vapor.  Their prey now point and laugh at the desperate attempts to bait or trap something actually edible. It is only a matter of time before this once proud species will have no choice but to eat shit…and die.  It’s Nature’s Way.

beast

 

The Practice Of Claiming To Have Moral Standards Or Beliefs To Which One’s Own Behavior Does Not Conform

That’s Hypocrisy

wally

Sorry But I’m Not Taking An 8 Year Old To See Ariana’s Flared Outriggers

I just see that as wrong. They’re too young. I was probably 11 or 12 before I first saw an adult human vagina by way of a page torn from a cheap nasty truckstop-style porn mag. It – The V – filled the entire page. Early 70s – picture a big shaggy blanket of pubes encircling a pink raw oyster. I did not view it as anything I would ever care to cuddle and I kept that mindset until I actually put my hands/finger(s) on/in/whatever a real one when we were both 14.  Completely different mindset, thereafter.  But 8 is too young.

arianna

This Photo Was Lab-Tested And Certified As Completely Original And Unretouched

The Testicomey

testicomey

Anderson Cooper Is Professor Pooper

Not many people realize that well known media personality Anderson Cooper is also one of the leading experts and connoisseurs of all things anal in America today. He’s written several peer-reviewed, scholarly studies on the structure, performance, standards and variations of the human anal orifice and his personal collection of superbly preserved sphincters will likely end up in the Smithsonian. Few know poo like Andy Coo.

He’s had his head and several other things well up in thousands of colons, more than most could even imagine – or want to.  So when the conversation turns to dumps, wise people will defer to the expert who puts the anal in analysis. He knows shit.

coop

Tribal Leaders Gather At Wattle House To Plan For Surprise Trump Visit To Impeechi Capital Village

Impichi Village

Turns out it was just a drive-by

motorcade

Possible Sources For Scumedia’s Sand-In-The-Vagina Hysterics Against Trump Are Legion

The intern who makes copies and gets donuts qualifies as a Former White House Official as far as the Scumedia is concerned.  They won’t identify them anyway, because they aren’t Republicans, so what’s the difference?  They’ll use the FWHO title to verify the fake news regardless. Until a source is named, their testimony is assumed to be a vaporous fabrication – and it should would be reported with skepticism not applause – by an honest media. But we’re fresh out of that, aren’t we?

o team