UPDATED: Chicago Awarded Obama Presidential Library – And They Might Pick My Design


Anonymous sources are reporting the Barack Hussein Obama Soetoro Presidential Library (“The Liebarry”) will in fact be located in the great city of Chicago Illinois.

This is encouraging news for yours truly, as I long ago submitted my entry in the Barack Hussein Obama Soetoro Presidential Library Conceptual Design Contest.  Figuring it couldn’t hurt, I claimed to be a one-legged lesbian refugee from Somalia with a Masters in Architecture and a Doctorate in Urban Planning and Critical Race Theory. I also attached a photo of my mutilated genitalia (not pictured here) to solidify my standing as a member of the Oppressed. And I chose Chicago Illinois as the location!

And the Design…well, judge for yourselves but I believe it perfectly encapsulates and reflects the very essence of the Age of Obama. The entrance itself evokes thoughts of his various policies and the results of enacting them ‘by hook or crook’. Some may be reminded of the President’s love for golf. Or Reggie Love. Maybe they’ll think of government making payoffs to their donors investments in failed ventures like Solyndra and the State Department. Or Obamacare, or America’s current economic state or gutting the military or immigration or something.

Of course these things are seldom chosen based on the obvious and irrefutable merits of the design. Politics typically plays a prominent role and that’s why I cheated. It’s out of my hands now, so I guess we’ll see.

“Da Liebarry Ho!” – what the locals would probably call it, my guess.

UPDATE: Still under construction and currently closed to the public, a key feature of the Obama Monument is the Great Hall of Nothing. Carved from the solid rock, it will run almost 80 feet through the head, with windows at each ear providing spectacular views and cooling, natural breezes. Events scheduled upon the Hall’s completion include concerts, art shows, guest lectures, food and wine tastings, conferences and exhibitions of every lunatic lefty issue they can dream up.

From the official brochure.

Photo taken from the official Obama National Monument brochure.

FINAL UPDATE: And finally, as a bonus for my readers, the following is a grab from the original presentation where I had included (at the Vice President’s specific request) a carnival ride atop the Monument, Vegas-style. I had to remove it from the final submission as computer models consistently showed an unacceptable level of cumulative fatalities during the period when Obama would still be in office. As such we’ve pushed off installation of this essential revenue-generator until the Fall of 2016.

Death Flight 2017

My original presentation included this ride – “The Bed Wetter” as a key portion of the National Monument to President Barack Obama. The ride has been delayed for purely political purposes and is expected to be fully functional by February of 2017.

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34 responses to “UPDATED: Chicago Awarded Obama Presidential Library – And They Might Pick My Design

  1. Diogenes May 3, 2015 at 12:55 am

    Excellent Design, Earl. The rich landscaping provides ample cover for those “business meetings” for the guys from ‘Man’s Country’ and also saves the plaza walkway from the junkies and there pesky pee stains. And just look at all of the flat surfaces for graffiti!

    Well done. I think it’s a winner!

    • Earl of Taint May 3, 2015 at 8:49 am

      You obviously have a keen eye for good design, Boss. Thank you!

      Yes I tried to maximize the green spaces as a cooling respite for stressed out urbanites and gangland assassins. If built as intended, I think it could become the premier location in Chicago to get shot, within 2 years.

  2. GnomeSane May 3, 2015 at 8:10 am

    Vaguely reminiscent of the final scene of “Planet of the Apes”. Love the “can’t miss” putting green.

    • Earl of Taint May 3, 2015 at 8:59 am

      Thank you! I am particularly proud of the signature entrance that affirmatively acts to empower all visitors to fall right in, regardless of what they look like or who they love. (However, its use as a putting green will be off-limits to the general public.)

  3. unomac May 3, 2015 at 9:11 am

    Reminds me of the tribute to equality the feminists wanted to put next to the Washington monument – a forty foot hole!

  4. mdfuller56 May 3, 2015 at 9:15 am

    I missed it, I thought it was an eco-friendly Black Hole, fashionably done in green, where all Truth from the Obama Regime resides.

  5. trailbee May 3, 2015 at 11:00 am

    The holy self. Hope you make it. :)

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  7. Pam May 3, 2015 at 3:27 pm

    You have a winning entry here! Hope you are there for opening ceremonies. Will the Islamic daily call to prayer emit from the One’s head (sculpture)?

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  9. Wiliam May 3, 2015 at 4:12 pm

    Where’s the cattle cars?…

  10. puyalluppete May 3, 2015 at 5:12 pm

    Best design since the Parthenon. Earl you never cease to amaze.

  11. Blu Lou Boyle May 3, 2015 at 9:27 pm

    A bust and a suck hole, very appropriate! Well done!

  12. Karl Ushanka May 5, 2015 at 5:47 pm

    I would assume every visitor listen to an ipod with all of his speeches, just like the one he gave to the Queen during his state visit, correct?

    • Earl of Taint May 5, 2015 at 8:09 pm

      Actually the entire building and grounds play audio and/or video of the speeches constantly. All visitors are bombarded for the entirety of their visit. They don’t do passive systems in Obamaland.

  13. Karma's Bunghole (@TurdBurglestein) May 6, 2015 at 4:43 pm

    Are you on twitter? I’ll give the taint master a follow.

    • Earl of Taint May 6, 2015 at 7:00 pm

      I liked it too much. Time suck. So I gave it up. Thanks for the offer though, much appreciated!

      • Karma's Bunghole (@TurdBurglestein) May 6, 2015 at 7:42 pm

        I hear ya man. I can waste hours there too trolling libtards with all my socks. Love your work here though. Anyways if you ever have a libtard land here who tries to stir up some shit & they’ve got a twitter acct, I’ll be more than happy to fuck up their TL real good. It’s what me & my crew do. Take it easy man.

  14. woodsterman May 7, 2015 at 5:22 pm

    You da man!

  15. mcnorman May 11, 2015 at 7:48 pm

    Hey, if I were on the committee…your design would win hands down.

  16. Jim22 May 13, 2015 at 1:40 pm

    You misspelled it. The proper spelling is ‘The Barack Obama Presidential LieBarry’.

  17. bobdog May 17, 2015 at 10:40 pm

    Seems to me they could build a monument to Obama’s accomplishments using nothing but a porta-john.

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