Honors I’ve Received From Nice People:
Thank You Cousin!
Multiple people reportedly suffered minor to severe injuries in the panicked stampede to escape Riverfront Park in Shreveport following an impromptu performance by Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren, wearing nothing but a cloth vagina construction that only partially covered her front side, leaving her backside completely visible to anyone who dared to look.
Most of the injured have been treated and released from care. One victim remains hospitalized in serious condition, suffering from partial paralysis. Merlin LaFleur of Bossier City faces months of physical therapy due to his intense exposure to the Senator’s aged buttocks. (In fact, we are told he glimpsed the anus. Horrible!) He was seated next to her when she began her ritual and thus bore the brunt of the damage, likely saving others from similar harm. Making Merlin LaFleur a genuine hero.