So They Want A Pie Fight?

The so-called Professional Media is pathetic. Now they’re all chasing around to find the stock photo that they claim Sarah Sanders posted on Twitter, saying she’d made it herself.  Because if they can prove she is lying about this pie, Trump gets impeached or something. The sad, pathetic losers and fake-newsers.

sarahs pie
It’s All Over Now

However, we have discovered a little-known but highly interesting pie contest that was held in Washington DC recently, featuring entries from several notable politicians and political celebrities.  In the context of the press’ obsession with Sarah Sanders perfectly normal (and undoubtedly delicious) Southern Pecan Pie, we’ve brought you three remarkable recipes from three leading Democrat women, that we find more worthy of national attention. First up, from Elizabeth Fauxcahontas Warren, her teepee’s favorite:

elizabeths pie

Next, we have former FLOTUS Michelle Obama’s entry. She says it’s one of her favorite comfort foods of all time. And don’t worry, this recipe scales up easily to feed a crowd.

michelles pie

Last, this classic favorite was entered at the last minute by former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.  It’s a quick and easy dessert, perfect for any occasion but it’s her go-to for the Holiday Season, during which she will serve it continuously.

hillarys pie

Now y’all leave Sarah alone.  We love her to pieces.  Don’t make us kick your asses over it.


  1. Yeah, PieGate is some stunning journalism, ain’t it? Sarah grows up in Arkansas, but it’s beyond this twit’s comprehension that she learned how to bake a pecan pie along the way. Every time I think the media has hit rock bottom, they prove me wrong.

  2. Arkansas is known for Pecan pie, or as Mama called it, Karo Nut Pie. If Sarah didn’t’ bake it, she likely has a fine recipe, which is more than the haters can say.

  3. Democrat congresscritters are dropping their drawers and using taxpayer dollars from a slush fund to pay for the cover up and April Ryan drills down to important issue of the day about whether or not the press secretary bakes her own pies!

  4. That chubby chick from Arkansas will always be a loser until she can top my ‘Starburst and Red Hots’ pie. Pffft! Those America breed country girls!

  5. I thought Lizzie wuz in the Fakawi Indian Tribe!
    Those little blue pills weren’t Valium in Bill’s version. The damn thing blew the top off the oven when it rose!

  6. Oh, the days of heavy mucous. Where have they gone? One minute it’s warm summer nights, relaxing on a convivial bum, hawkin’ loogies onto the sidewalk an’ swappin’ lies.

    Next minute, you’re all out of mucous and the festivities come to a halt.

    “Welp, see ya later, fellas.”

    Who can explain it?

    1. Mucous doesn’t automatically mean lung-butter, you know. Milk is mucous. Cheese is solidified and ripened mucous. Fish Guts have mucous to burn. It’s everywhere, mucous is.

      1. Mucous doesn’t automatically mean lung-butter, you know. Milk is mucous. Cheese is solidified and ripened mucous.

        Thanks. A. Fucking. Bunch. This is what I’ll think about while consuming dairy products the rest of my life. DIAF

        1. Sometimes enlightenment is a kick in the dick, we get it. But you’re more informed now and that’s why we’re here. So we see it as a win.
          You know what honey is, right?

          1. “You know what honey is, right?”

            Yes, it is golden drops of heaven, deposited in honey combs by beautiful winged nymph girls.

            But YOU will probably say it’s regurgitated nector, because you can’t just let us have our harmless fantasies—materialist!

      2. Well, I will concede that YOUR milk and cheese are mucous. But, and follow me closely here, not EVERYone does their shopping and Mel and Ned’s Mucous Emporium.

        “Serving all your mucoid needs since 1897.”

        Re the claim, “It’s everywhere, mucous is.”

        There is NO mucous in my shorts…. Well, let me just check…. Uh oh…. Clap!

        1. You checked yourself. That’s always good form. And correct me if I’m wrong, but mucous is present in all living things – and in many dead things as well. Like Fish Guts.

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