They walked across half a continent and nobody lost any weight. That’s some battle-hardened BMI, right there. In an organized assault, the immense combined mass of converted sugars will completely overwhelm our troops, smash through our border and penetrate deep into our country.
Unless they have to run.
I don’t know how many of you watched but I caught a couple of new balloons that reminded me of just how thankful I truly am to not be a Democrat.
First up, a brand new creation depicting former Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton stroking out and being tossed like a 200lb bag of soggy quinoa into her Scooby Van, on 9-11-2016. This one should make anybody feel better.
Michael Avenatti is one of the top five favorite cartoon characters in the country now. So there’s a new balloon with his likeness, created to honor the Holiday. It’s called “Make Me A Turkey Sandwich, Bitch!”