WELCOME TO THE RIGHTLY GUIDED:

Because this is how you get more Bill Clinton:

A 33 year old Sudanese migrant was judged on August 6th for alleged sexual assaults on four teenage boys, news outlet L’avenir de l’Artois reports.

The boys, all aged between 12 and 13, say that he invited them to his house and then started to put a cream on their intimate parts dicks.

The migrant then began kissing their genitals dicks a number of times and forced them to do the same thing.

“According to him, this wasn’t a sexual assault, he wanted to heal them by putting a cream on their private parts (…) for him, touching and kissing a teenager’s genitals is nothing problematic, it’s a custom in Sudan” explained the migrant’s interpreter.

This may have been the Chicken Dance. (Caution: It’s Lawrence Welk from the 70s and features people you’d probably like to beat up a little. The blonde girl’s not bad but she has no concept of how to replicate bird wings and as such bounces her well formed chesticles to effectively double the flapping. Her performance alone makes the video watchable. You can turn down the sound. And please keep in mind, I don’t get out much.)

Don’t they still teach it at Harvard or CUNY or anywherer they give out diplomas for scholarship?

This site is obviously a poor fit demographically for this kind of product, but we get the advertising free. Maybe someone has a miserable, wretched leftist friend/relative that needs a hobby and might enjoy this as a gift? The Holidays are coming!

Now if everyone can just stick to his script, he’ll wrap things up in no time.

Link.

(Please note: We have edited the source article slightly, for editorial purposes. – The Editors, Associate Editors, Assistant Editors and Editor Interns)

Procedures marketed to improve a woman’s “intimate health” using steam cleaning are not only unapproved, but are also causing burns and other painful damage, the Food and Drug Administration said Monday.

The steam cleaning equipment used in these unapproved procedures has FDA approval for removing genital warts, insects, paint, other growths and also in operations such as hysterectomies. But they have not been shown to tighten up muscles, increase sexual pleasure or relieve pain during intercourse, the FDA said.

The FDA says it’s received complaints about burns and other damage. In some cases, the procedures are causing the very pain during intercourse that they are being promoted to relieve.

So-called vaginal rejuvenation is a vague term that might refer to vaginal “laxity,” dryness, dustiness, sand, lesions, pain during intercourse, scabs or “decreased sexual sensation,” the FDA said in a safety alert.

“It is deceptive to give the impression that vaginal steaming, aka “ReTitan”, “G-Spot Hot Shot”, or any such procedures are accepted and routine medical practices.”

Advocates for the Women In Need Of Vaginal Restoration community are vowing to protest. “The members of our community are utterly dependent on steam for pain relief and moisturizing their stiff, sore muscles and ripped out lady bits.”