Romaine Or Ptomaine – Just Say No To Lettuce

“Lettuce is unfit for human consumption. Lettuce is not food, it is what Food eats.”

~ President Theodore Roosevelt

As if anyone needs a reason to avoid eating lettuce, now we learn it is – once again – likely dusted with human poo remnants when it lands on your table. It’s really best to just not eat lettuce at all. It’s been clinically proven that lettuce, no matter the variety, will not form a stool. It serves no nutritive or digestive purpose. It is 99% water. Instead, why not try a more nutritious and satisfying substitute like say french-fried potatoes or bacon?

Things that aren’t picked, by people, out of remote fields, with no bathrooms


You’re Having Salad?



Funny, I Thought Comey Was Dead Set Against This Kind Of Fraternization

Must have been True Romance.


How About Housing Some Homeless In Your Backyard?

More California, for real.

Under the program the county would lend $75,000 to homeowners to build a backyard house or $50,000 for a garage-type renovation for up to six units. Loan principal would be reduced for each year a formerly homeless person occupies the unit.

After 10 years, the loan would be forgiven and homeowners would be free to do as they want with the building. Imagine the sales pitch if that homeowner ever tries to sell his home including a homeless hut out back.

To gauge interest in the idea, the county reached out to 500 homeowners. Less than one-in-five expressed interest. County officials pronounced that overwhelming. So, as you can see, the program is moving ahead, whether it’s realistic or not.

backyard housing



Bless Their Hearts



They’re painting all the colored people next.


Resident officials are reportedly outraged.


California Is The Future?

I saw that’s the current assertion – from the Toasted Fruits, Nuts and Flakes out on the Left Edge, anyway. The Governor, State and local officials, actors and other assorted progresstoids all concur (everyone else is moving or has moved away).

So I looked into it and got a real estate brochure to check housing costs in LA. I only found one development within my budget and it turns out to be a homeless camp chock full of transgendered/diseased lunatics, drunks and addicts. Needless to say, the brochure below is quite misleading.

Well, I couldn’t live there. I’d go batshit like the rest of them. Guess I’ll miss the future altogether. Dang.


cali life

cali life1

Her Face Looks Remarkably Different Without Makeup

And we wish we had a photo of that, to share.

But we just have the same old Hillary. Click-bait headline, we admit. Very sorry. Won’t do it again.


Maybe If He’d Married That White Girl

H/T JudgeRoyBean The Law West Of The Pecos…’nuff said.


Auntie Max’s Beverage Of Choice

Soothes the pain and itch resulting from the severe cerebral damage caused by thinking like a Communist Democrat.

H/T Mike R


Money For Nothing

H/T Conan

mueller time

OK So You Want One Of Those Realistic Looking, Anatomically Correct Sex Dolls

No problem with that. It’s a prophylactic – seems kind of like you’re banging a giant plastic fishing lure to me,


Zuzu comes in black, blonde, brunette and redhead

but to each his/ her/its own.      Live your dream, I won’t judge.

But I saw somewhere they’re making them with AI now. As an upgrade.

Sorry but if you’re set on paying 6+ grand for the man, woman, womanman or manwoman replicant recepticle of your dreams, why would you ever want one with intelligence? That just seems completely contradictory to the whole raison d’etra , don’t it?

smart doll


The Good The Bad And The Bigly



good bad and bigly

Latest Craze



UPDATE:  Here’s Joe’s attempt. He did not follow the directions.