Tag Archives: michelle obama
The White House moved quickly to squelch growing rumors of a possible Zika virus outbreak on Martha’s Vineyard Sunday evening. The rumors were sparked by the shocking appearance of the President and First Lady when they returned from their annual summer vacation on the island, with Mrs Obama’s head appearing to be over two times its normal size and the President’s head looked quite tiny and shrunken. This picture from the press pool seems to indicate that something is very wrong.
The First Couple took no questions from the press but an administration spokesperson announced that the First Lady is indeed suffering from some type of shellfish allergy causing swelling and elongation of her skull. However she is expected to recover fully. The President, the press was informed, had recently received a fresh haircut and his head only seemed to be smaller. The possibility the Obamas were exposed to the Zika virus was said to be of no concern whatsoever.
Fruit of the Moose.
In this crazy campaign season, we can’t allow the little bits of everyday news to go unobserved. We must maintain some sense of normalcy.
No not here, just in the general citizenry. We don’t do normal here.
It’s an honest mistake. Both rip into the watercress face first. In the water they’re identical. Out of the water, well one has a paddle tail and the other has a big giant splitter.
In a rare show of fairness, I decided to post the original photo from which the post below was derived. You’ll notice that Boehner and McConnell are nowhere to be seen. I added them through a rather crude form of photo manipulation known popularly as “Photoshop”. Yes I did. Note that the character lying prone on the carpet is not Mitch McConnell, but a young child who reportedly informed the First (ahem) Lady that she would not eat the broccoli rabe/quinoa & corn smut appetizer “not ever EVER!”, triggering an impulsive right jab and swinging head kick from FLOTUS that knocked the child insensible. Mrs Obama claims she overheard the child telling her mother that a ‘big nasty gorilla is trying to make me eat her poo-poo!’, which caused a snap reaction and momentary loss of self-control. That and the steroids. The child is resting comfortably and is expected to make a full recovery within 8-10 years.
For the record, that is what actually happened, my original post was all made up.
Another one based on an idear from faithful reader Come And Take It. Cool stuff over there, btw. He’s making 3D Printers, the machines that print 3D objects from digital files. He’s a real go-getter. Makes me feel ashamed, like most highly productive people do. Lazy Shaming, it’s a microaggression, yep. Just like our poor little Ms Moose, who has endured them her entire deprived and disadvantaged life.