Tag Archives: lena dunham
True story. I’m Not Lying.
And as luck would have it, I just finished the synopsis of my idea for just such a remake. Is this serendipitous or what?? I’m sending it out Priority Mail (meaning someone has to sign for it!) to SONY execs for review. I expect I’ll have an answer of some kind any day this week. Hoping they’ll fly me out to make the pitch after Christmas. Fingers crossed!
Here’s the “promo piece”.
The majestic sandstone pinnacles of the Arizona desert have stood tall and proud for millenia. Now some unknown event has made them as flaccid as boiled spaghetti and leading scientists are scrambling to discover the reason why. Early assessments ascribed a period of cold showers as the likely culprit, however the current warmer temps have resulted in no resolution of rigidity. The root cause remains a mystery.
Once deemed sacred ground by First American shamans and priests, the earliest inhabitants held to a legend that foretold the fall of the Big Honking Spirit Staffs following the arrival of the sexually-repellent entity known to them as Kooh-Kooh-Nooh-Key-Ho or Packs-Pebbles-In-The-Pussy-Woman. And as crazy as that sounds, it’s as likely an explanation as anything science has to offer us today.
Meanwhile efforts are ongoing to restore the towers to their former upright stature. Highly skilled professionals from the Handlers and Erectors Union are en route from Reno and Vegas while top shelf lube and tissue techs are already on site, slathering everything up for the hoisting, pulling, tugging, jerking and jacking to come in the morning.
Warning – it is possible that a tiny, minute, small bit of Lena Shine (a horribly real thing) may be transferable via your monitor or screen. Those who are overly sensitive to visuals that may trigger heretofore unknown but still strongly anticipated gay tendencies should not view the cartoon. Or Lena or Hillary, ever.
I hear she’s lost weight so there will never be a better opportunity to hit the target – I mean like spontaneously – without the pain of, um…seducing her. I’d do it myself but I’m not allowed to do any heavy lifting.
And why? Just take a look at her Halloween costume this year. (Note: The photo you may have seen posted on the internet recently has been altered. It is a fake. This is the actual, un-retouched original photo I swear.)
I hate her.