Tag Archives: 2016

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

pardon

I’m Just Making A Comparison Here

I couldn’t find where the Tea Party got an hours long, nationwide TV, cable and webcast “Town Hall” campaign speech – with no commercials – with Mr Hope barrysplaining the legitimacy of their grievances and their right to present them through peaceful, orderly protests and demonstrations. That includes the more ‘messy’ ones with stuff like murder, robbery, assault and arson because they too are part of our time-honored democratic traditions and rights as Americans to speak truth to power, loot liquor stores and burn shit down. Blocking freeways is cool too.

I just couldn’t find a thing on that anywhere. Odd.

compare

Who’s Going To Rio?

This is what happens when you go all Affirmative Action and award the Olympic Games to a third world cesspool. Like Brazil. Now the city of Rio de Janeiro (River of Effluents) is flat broke and can’t do any cleanup, pay the police, build the promised metro line, etc. The Games are in August. Athletes all over the world have trained for years to compete in these events. For many, it will be their last opportunity to win a medal, ever. And now they have to try for it in a Zika-infested, pathognomic Fiesta de Janeiro. Liberals suck.

rio

The Official Mascot of the Rio Olympics is a Transgenetic Monkey-Parrot-Cat cartoon character and it doesn’t make things one bit better.

But Then So Is Every Other Day For Ten More Months

april fool

Campaign Update: Well It Seems We Have Our First Scandal

I suppose with looks like his, it’s impossible to stop sex-crazed women from wanting him. Couple that with him having just about the biggest heart on him as any man that ever lived and…well, things like this are destined to happen. Oh well.

In un-good news for our fledgling campaign, our front man and stealth Earl has been busted down in the Florida Keys for, allegedly, heisting Trump’s private plane along with its trio of hand picked, young, hot, blonde, bisexual and exceptionally kinky flight attendants. Unverified local reports are stating when Police broke into the motel room, “…Taint (not me, the actor -Ed.) and his hostages were engaged in a drunken, half-naked exhibition of savage girl on girl beatings – which he robustly encouraged in order to satisfy his sick, sadistic, perverted animal urges…” (Again, as much as this may sound like me, I assure you it is not me -Ed.)

smoking junk

In a statement released by his campaign, Taint (not me) maintains his innocence and insists the facts, once known, will back him up. He claims he was in Key Largo to speak before a local group and also take in some deep sea fishing. The outing was successful and he caught several large tuna. He maintains this accounts for his hands bearing the strong odor of fish. When he went back to the motel to clean up, Taint states the girls were already in the room and highly inebriated when he entered. Assuming the inn had made a mistake, he went to phone the desk for corrective action when two of the girls yanked out the phone, pantsed him and forced him to drink their poisonous hard liquor until he blacked out. He awoke when police battered in the door. The girls were having a spirited pillow fight on his bed and they’d also stolen his underpants. He offered no explanation on the condoms or the lubricants, insisting they appeared after he became unconscious.

An ex-campaign spokesperson (just now quit) says all election activities will be suspended immediately, with all further efforts on hold pending the outcome of this serious investigation. Denied bail as a flight risk,  Taint remains in the Achatoochee County Jail awaiting arraignment Monday morning.

earnald busted

Citizen Taint Gets Swift-Bootied!

They’re The Clintons – Lying Is What They Do

LIARS

Granny Clinton Heads New Hillbillies Spin-Off

I’m not much on writing insightful reviews but this show is pretty good. Relatively speaking, of course. You have to enjoy slapstick, for starters. Granny’s hi-jinks dominate almost every episode. And Chellie Mae’s biscuits, lol…they can take out anything, except Granny! Here’s a scene where Granny confronts Old Man Sanders and threatens his life! OMG! Classic comedy you won’t want to miss!

clamptons

I’m Not Watching – Is This About The Gist Of The Bit?

It’s just my guess – I can’t stand to listen to the guy speak deliver a campaign speech/lecture/insincere bullshit. Also I’ve allowed for winter growth of Ryan’s beaver.

Am I close?

sotu2016

 

What’s The Opposite Of An Endorsement?

Because I’m doing it right here, right now. I am NOT endorsing Hillary Clinton for President. This is not a gag, I AM SERIOUS. This Blog’s OFFICIAL, firm, unchangeable position is DO NOT VOTE FOR THAT CORRUPT LYING HAG EVER…and that’s final, so no use trying to talk me out of it. I will not budge. I hate her.

big hillary

Click for the full size and brace yourself.

Shades Of 2008

The Clueses:

Hillary = Establishment candidate 2008. Schlonged by Obama.

Jeb! = Establishment candidate 2016. Being schlonged by Trump.

Obama = Kissed Babies

Trump = Kissing Babies (without the trauma!)

Obama = Won

Trump = ZOMG!

Is History repeating itself?

alinsky-ed

 

In Debate, Democrats Distinguish Themselves On Key Party Metrics

And as big an issue as socialism is, Hillary’s vagina is much, much bigger.

dem-debate

Someone Needs To Punch Daft Slut Lena Dunham Right In Her Ripped Out Fireplace Of A Vagina

I hear she’s lost weight so there will never be a better opportunity to hit the target – I mean like spontaneously – without the pain of, um…seducing her. I’d do it myself but I’m not allowed to do any heavy lifting.

And why? Just take a look at her Halloween costume this year. (Note: The photo you may have seen posted on the internet recently has been altered. It is a fake. This is the actual, un-retouched original photo I swear.)

I hate her.

Her actual quote, too.

Her actual quote, too.