Scary Halloween Creatures

We’ll post them as we see them. First up is John Fetterman. He lived with his parents until he was middle aged. His mom cooked a lot of cabbage, Brussels sprouts and rutabagas over the years and John loved them all.

Then, a few days after he’d been bitten on the lip by a radioactive compost beetle, he noticed the aromas of the vegetables were becoming more repulsive and nauseating day by day. A full blast of his mother’s baked cabbage rolls at Sunday dinner instantly triggered his transformation into a massive, fierce, cruel and brutish creature with the most lethal flatulence ever observed in human history.

Unable to function in normal society, he turned to crime and terrorized the citizens with his deadly emissions, all controlled and precisely directed from his mutant prehensile anus. Some victims lost eyes and suffered severe sinus burns. The whole town barfed incessantly for days. He was a real Monster and was finally hunted down, trapped and in a hail of gunfire with the brave LEOs, he was slawed. Or slawn, whatever. His smell will no longer linger among us.