FYI, Ass Clowns are the ones you see in parades with their heads where their asses are supposed to be. Trying to look like clowns walking on their hands. Some call them Upside Down Clowns but they’re all Ass Clowns. And only the very cream of the Clownish Ass crop will qualify for admission to the Hall of Fame.
EARL OF TAINT 
They used to call him Touchy McFeely in Mr Roger’s Neighborhood!
aka: Sniffles the Clown
“…birdbath…”
.
May I quote you?
I smell roadkill….