This Just In

Sad news. For somebody. Really harsh way to go, too. You know, those Alaskan Brown Bears are huge but they’re not able to eat an entire human in a single go. Very likely her remains are partially buried nearby, as a food cache for the bear to chew on later and he will guard his stash fiercely, so retrieval won’t be easy.

Ah well. I’m sure someone somewhere is heartbroken by this bulletin and I thusly offer my sincere condolences on their profound ignorance and gullibility in believing it. Life is hard, I know.


  1. Even bears have standards, I doubt whether any bear would be hungry enough to eat something so nasty, check the wolf or possum stools.

    1. If hungry enough Bears will eat other dead bears, younger live bears. rotten whale ass, pretty much everything. In early Spring the Alaskan bears eat mostly grass. Salad Bar. It’s all they have at the time

  2. How could they tell the difference between Joy Reid, who IS a stool sample, from the bear turds they found? Asking for a friend.

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