Occasionally I get bored with all the factual reporting and I just make shit up. Please don’t be alarmed, it’s rare and I always intend to call it out, even when I forget – which is also rare – toward the goal of full disclosure to my trusting audience. Rest assured, I never forget you’re all highly susceptible to the flood of misinformation floating around out there now. I have some close friends who share your weakness and as I am a Shield of Truth for them intimately, I will be the same for you all, right here – only virtually and anonymously, as far as we all know, anyway.
So sleep well, as you are Safe from Thinking here and that’s a guarantee, usually. Not always. But almost always.
Note: I made this shit up:
EARL OF TAINT 
Sure sounded real to me. Especially the part where Joe* says the bat guano smells like his grandma. Joe* is known for his ability to sniff and smell, especially little girls.
Simple Joerk at home in Wuhan Virus Institute BSL (-4) white shrimper boots. SMELL THE BAT SIMPLE JOERK! SMELL IT!