Pretty sure it’s the hairypits Dyke next door. The ‘wife’ is a cute little hippie nymphomaniac and banging half the neighborhood. She calls Cabs over to get laid – I see them come and go but she never leaves. And no, I have not partaken. I did request a health certificate at one point but that was weeks ago and it’s irrelevant to me now anyway. I’m not that Tainted and don’t tolerate antibiotics well.
But in fairness, the Neighbor is right about the hands – I told her I can’t help those feelings.
Also I didn’t press any charges so she just punched me in the stomach and we’re all good now. The End
EARL OF TAINT 
Dammit Taint I spit out my drank…
Sorry. Can you still lick it up from wherever? Very sorry.
It’s cool that $hit is funny AF!
Is ok if I reblog?
Of course and thanks!
Hey Earl, the taxidermist called this morning.
He said yer date’s ready to be picked up any time.
Sah-weet. Why’d he call you?