1. Walmart sells humongous bags of plastic straws for mere pennies. Might be worth my while to buy a caseload, unwrap ’em, charter a small plane, and toss them out the window into the propwash while flying over San Francisco or Sacramento.

    1. Chances are those straws would either land in a pile of human feces or become impaled on a hypodermic needle.

  2. The year is 2025, a dead whale washes up on a beach and the plastic inflatable Trump baby is found in it’s stomach.

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