Monthly Archives: December 2018

I Tried To Pitch A New Holiday Character But Nobody’s Buying It

They say she doesn’t have warmth or charm, like Frosty or Rudolph or The Grinch.

I said “Hey! She won the popular vote!”  But no takers. So I struck out, again.

Now back to the drawing board…

Bernie the Humpbacked Hermit Crab?

Liz the Red-Faced Notasquaw?

Nancy and her Big Stupid Titties?

Schittzie The Bug-Eyed Diseased Pig Uterus?

Anybody have another one?

yak

Cuba Is A Good Country Says Bern

breadline bernie

Aunt Bob’s Knitting

knitty

 

My Neighborhood Association Is Threatening To Remove My Mailbox

Effing Social Justice mofos.  I guess I don’t live in a country with freedom of expression anymore. This Political Correctness BS is ridiculous. I mean, what next? I’ll tell you right now,  if they try to go after my lawn jockette – that will mean war.

Mailbox

lawn jockey

They’re Coming Out Of The Woodwork

They sense an opportunity. Because they listen to Fake News.

hats

Here’s the latest to overestimate his chances:

swallowell

Skunk Tinkle Tickles

tinkle

c&n

skunks

I Thought He Was Dead

“ALL of us should use EVERY BREATH WE HAVE to make sure the lies stop on January 20, 2021” ~ James Comey

A bit extreme but if that’s what it takes…

via Legal Insurrection

last breath

I Guess They’re Broke Again

broke

What Makes Life Worth Living?

I keep seeing pieces that tell me I’m risking my life by eating, drinking, smoking, breathing, touching, kissing and – with blind luck – intercoursing something that some expert says is potentially fatal to me.  The advice is pure nonsense, of course. If were true, I would have died long before I was born.

Regardless, I’m not trading my incredibly tasty (mmm…dat fat) Texas-Style Barbecue for your fake MexiCali Hummus Ribs just to earn an extra 10 years of wearing diapers in the retirement home. I have no interest in that deal. I’ll check out early and leave more for you.

live forever

Here’s One Reason They’re Called Collectivists

socialist claus

Likely Speaker Welcomes New Members To Congress

house rules