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  1. This just in:
    ***BERNIE EATS ELIZABETH***

    Oregon is infested with the huge rodents called ‘nutria’, so naturally, we give them popular names == Pelosi, Maxine Waters, Jerry Brown.

    We named the neighborhood buzzard ‘Bernie Sanders’.

    Three days ago, Elizabeth Warren got too close to one of the dogs, so I bopped its snoot with a baseball bat.

    After a few hours in the August sun, Bernie dropped in for supper.

    Some things you can always count on.

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