FDA Warns About ‘Deceptive’ Vaginal Rejuvenation Claims


(Please note: We have edited the source article slightly, for editorial purposes. – The Editors, Associate Editors, Assistant Editors and Editor Interns)

Procedures marketed to improve a woman’s “intimate health” using steam cleaning are not only unapproved, but are also causing burns and other painful damage, the Food and Drug Administration said Monday.

The steam cleaning equipment used in these unapproved procedures has FDA approval for removing genital warts, insects, paint, other growths and also in operations such as hysterectomies. But they have not been shown to tighten up muscles, increase sexual pleasure or relieve pain during intercourse, the FDA said.

The FDA says it’s received complaints about burns and other damage. In some cases, the procedures are causing the very pain during intercourse that they are being promoted to relieve.

So-called vaginal rejuvenation is a vague term that might refer to vaginal “laxity,” dryness, dustiness, sand, lesions, pain during intercourse, scabs or “decreased sexual sensation,” the FDA said in a safety alert.

“It is deceptive to give the impression that vaginal steaming, aka “ReTitan”, “G-Spot Hot Shot”, or any such procedures are accepted and routine medical practices.”

Advocates for the Women In Need Of Vaginal Restoration community are vowing to protest. “The members of our community are utterly dependent on steam for pain relief and moisturizing their stiff, sore muscles and ripped out lady bits.”

fda warning


  1. When I heard that the First Wookiee had a steam locomotive run in her cooch, I thought it was to get some type of sensation, after being married to “needle-dick” lamont for so long… had no idea it might be therapeutic.

    1. Right. All a matter of the proper ratio of steam pressure to the total square footage of tissue requiring treatment. She knew she would have to go big. The steam train engine was a good call on her part. I have to give credit.

  2. This “steam rejoovenation” thing … is this the chick version of homo guys shoving gerbils into their buttholes?

  3. When I first read this I thought it said, “FDA Warns About ‘Deceptive’ Vaginal Rejuvenation CLAMS”
    Well………..lady bits……..bearded clams………………

    Too early in the AM, too little coffee. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

    1. My classmate was a cheerleader and went into the 1967 yearbook as a Junior with ponytails and horn-rimmed glasses named “Fonda Peters”.

  4. My ‘friend’ and his “Bestest Little Pal” is known far and wide for its photogenic qualities.

    Like a wool sweater in the dryer, could this treatment shrink him to a standard size? ‘Cause that darn thing is skeery. Nice in theory, but fierce in practice.

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