The Handmaid’s Handjob


The latest Leftist Cat Ladies performance protest is based on a fictional account of a future where all women with child-bearin’ hips who can conceive children are made into sexual slaves for rich yet infertile couples, who are legion in this future, so they need lots and lots of these slavey Handmaids…and so on.

So now the evil parallels drawn from this fiction are lame, street theater exhibitions intended to illustrate our certain future under Donald J Trumpenfuerer, where all fertile women will face brutal oppression and persecution, starting any day now.

A big difference in the shows, however. On cable, the slave girls are all young and fairly pretty. Central Casting extras. Not all brilliant, but no gargoyles either. Normal guys would be OK with buying them and having sex with them whenever they wanted. And as such, the story piques your interest – so you keep watching.

But the uh, females I saw performing in the recent protests do not match up with the girls in the show, not even close. They’re too old, soggy, wrinkly and haggish to present themselves as trophies that anyone (sober), anywhere (normal countries) would ever want to purchase for money. Seriously ma’ams, this isn’t working like you think.

SALE

 

Then I wondered where in this invented future did the new Slaves come from? If an old one breaks and it’s totaled, where do you get another one? Will there be stores? Who gets them wholesale? I figured we need to invent that too.

broken

handmaid

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5 responses to “The Handmaid’s Handjob

  1. Lee Van Queef II July 26, 2018 at 11:23 pm

    I like the bucket, great beer cooler and feed bag. They keep the turkey baster in that satchel?

  2. papabear1950 July 27, 2018 at 9:05 am

    Looks like they’re all named “Buh Tugly”. Are the men using this service all BLIND?

  3. Meatzilla July 27, 2018 at 10:11 am

    .
    I ❤️ STEAK & KNOBBER DAY

  4. Tannhauser July 28, 2018 at 10:56 pm

    Tonight is meatloaf and knobber,tomorrow is tuna casserole and knobber,the next day is chicken and knobber……my wife loves to cook!

  5. A.B. Prosper August 4, 2018 at 10:47 pm

    There aren’t any cat ladies where I live, only Blacks, Mexicans and Desert Rat Whites so I suppose I’m somewhat lucky.

    I’ve got to say though should I run into any of them I’m going to to tell the Handmaiden’s Tale cosplayers that they forget a crucial part of the costume, the gag.

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