OK Update Here

Also served as quick reference graphical highlights, below.

The Story: Fell ill at 12:30 am July 4th. Tried to ride it out Wed -end up at ER for fireworks on account of dehydratio and BP cr ap.  Docs see stone on CT Scan. Estimate at 5mm and we try waiting. Reassess requires surgery and can’t get Doc until Sat. No food/water after midnight Sat am. Surgery at 11 am. Can’t even have hospital coffee – which is actually not bad there now. Surgery with a frikkin’ laser to break up the rock and retrieve the remnants from the incredibly cruel abuse and mis-treatment dished out against my loyal and stout Little Bestest Pal. The poor kid. He had no idea what they’d planned for their assault so he never saw it coming. I’d have saved him from it, if I could. I’ve sheltered him for years but now he had to step up and shoulder the load. I admit he’s made me proud. But it’s also a bit sad. Even the little guys get bigger someday.

They attached the longest “catheter” (leash) somewhere in back part of my neck and left a small loop of thread hanging out of Buddy, so when the proper time came I would finally lose my tonsils though via an anterior path. The other leash was a “Foley” and about the size of a residential water hose. I sure it would never fit because I didn’t know jack about the elasticity limit of the human urethra. Boy was I ever wrong.

Then they sent me home Wednesday 11th. There’s a little relapse and back in til yesterday afternoon. Tired like never before – getting harder to snap back from this horseshit. Not getting cheaper of course.

Ah well, my sincerest thanks for all the well wishes in the comments. Means a ton to me, seriously. Truly honored – and I haven’t the words…go figure. Thanks a million everyone. We’ll keep at it.




  1. Dr. Max Tweeker you are wanted in the OR with your Home Depot flexi drill. Jeebus whatever happened to sonic lithotripsy?

    1. Lithotripsy works if the stone is in the upper third of the ureter. Otherwise, the stone is hidden behind body parts and not subject to an efficacious blast.

      1. This is why I’m not on “socialist media;” you will never get an erudite, well written, succinct answer like that. Bravo.


  2. Had the stone from hell once myself. I swear it was one of those mace spiked balls made from iron. For those who’ve never been subjected to this just think of your mother-in-law smashing your gonads with a BB bat as they lay helpless on a blacksmith’s anvil.

  3. Been doing CT’s since 1980…..without a doubt Renal Stones are amongst the most painful malady’s known to man. And while the treatment is a bit barbaric it’s generally done while you are
    “knocked out” so while your “equipment” is sore afterwards you miss the majority of the festivities.
    Be glad for modern medicine…..the ancient “treatments” were often as bad or worse than the affliction.

  4. Bless your heart Earl. I mean that in the most sincere way. Sorry for your agony. Glad to know you’re starting to return to your feisty self. You’re a real trooper and we love ya, man. Take care and take it easy.

  5. I feel yer pain, Earl. Well, not literally…thank God…but I’ve always had a real fear of kidney stones. And don’t get me started on catheters! That shit is nightmare inducing! Musta been invented during the Spanish Inquisition…

    Glad to hear yer on the mend. I guess yer gonna have to lay off the Rocky Road ice cream, though…

  6. Aw Earl……Man I empathize. Have grown daughter who when she dropped her first stone 14 years ago….was found to have 24 more total in her kidneys. She’s had 4 lithotripsies, 2 basket retrievals, and I lost count now how many stones she’s passed. This largest she’s ever passed was 5 1/2 mm, but it had a Pinocchio-nose on it that scrapped all the way down!

    I sent her this artwork, and she asked me to say to you …”Welcome fellow stoner” (apparently, you are now “in the club”) Drink tons of water, every day, and lay off whatever foods are causing it. Her’s are “calcium oxylate” So no spinach, no strawberries, no walnuts, but pecans are okay, and no brown soda. Her Dr. Kidney told me that after 30 years of practice, overall he’s seeing increase in younger folks with stones. Before his practice was mostly old geezers with enlarged prostates. Thinks it’s due to more consumption of soda pop. Once you’ve had one, your body can keep making them. Oh, and sometimes, whatever you did that was bad….even if you get stomach flu and get dehydrated….stones don’t show up for 6 to 8 weeks!!!!

  7. Good to see you back, Earl. You reduced to sitting to pee now?

    My Ol’ Buddy can sympathize with yours. A few months ago I had a procedure called a urolift which is designed to relieve symptoms of benign prostate disease. Fortunately it was done under a general anesthesia. Doc inserted a tube up you-know-where to the bladder end of the urethra. Thru this tube he passed a fiber optic lamp and a scaled-down industrial staple gun. He then fired staple-like thingies thru the urethra wall, in effect permanently increasing its diameter. After several days of peeing razor blades, I’m happy to report that most of the classic symptoms of old-man prostate are gone.

  8. I met Mr. Foley last Christmas, took 4 male paramedics to shove it in. I ended up going back for surgery, oh what fun it is to be a male

  9. I think I’ll pass, thank you — hey! that’s a pun! Good to see you back, Your Lordship.

  10. Glad it is over for you. I had a 5mm stone and they got it with lithotripsy. The pain is intense for sure. This is my one and (hopefully) one. Glad you are back and batting 1,000

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