Health Dept Advisory: Avoid Restaurants With Gay Cooks – Because We Do Know Where Their Hands Have Been
The substance causing random, recurrent pathogenic discolorations on the hands, arms, lips and chins of all male staff at The Red Anus has been clinically identified as recently applied human defecate stainage. Some of the most durable stains will require a full replacement cycle of all dermal layers to disappear completely. Meaning they remain as active vectors of life-threatening diseases for possibly months.
As such, all employees with the stains described above must wear gloves.