Breaking: California Announces Formation Of Red State Sanctions Commission
Bill Nye warned us about this a few days ago. Now it is real. California has just announced the formation of the Red State Sanctions Commission, which will be staffed with some of California’s leading figures and responsible for identifying States that do not fully support government efforts to stop Climate Change. Those States will then be subject to a range of economic sanctions as punishment for their arrogance and ignorance. Then they will learn.
The cast, so far, is excellent.
Bill Nye, who plays a Scientist on TV, will fill the role of Science Officer and advise on remedies for stopping all human progress. Robert Di Niro, the accomplished actor and artist will play The Commissioner, a hard-nosed executive with a penchant for violent, sadistic sex. Seasoned infomercial actress Doomi Moore will debut as his willing, masochistic secretary and former world famous hip-hop artist Flav-A-Flav will appear as The Press Secretary. Still unfilled are parts for the Polar Bear (Nick Nolte remains unsigned), The Good Fairy (we’re told it’s down to Billy Crystal v Jimmy Kimmel) and Magic the Weather Unicorn (they want Bette Midler bad). Governor Jerry Brown and former US VP Al Gore are slotted for cameo roles (Jerry as a marijuana plantation owner and Al as the Sierra Nevada Mountains).
Filming begins soon and should hit theaters by next summer.