Our Choice For Our FCC Holiday Public Service Requirement.


It’s a mandatory program required to renew our broadcasting license every year, but it’s also our chance to give back to the community by helping those less fortunate than most of us, here at Christmastime.

This year we’ve selected an organization working to help a surprisingly large number of needy people, who go largely unnoticed mostly because they are extremely hard to look at. Mostly products of unwise couplings between two unfortunately featured people, (both unquestionably under the influence of alcohol and/or mind-altering drugs as evidenced by the outcome of their coital engagement), but also a large segment of otherwise visually-normative people who have just gotten too old to resist gravity and became all soft, soggy and thus irredeemably disqualified for consideration of any physical contact ever.  These poor souls go months, years, even decades without the slightest leer, brush-by or feel of anything, from anyone.

Well it’s not fair that only younger, more fortunate and attractive people get hit on, stared at, suggested to, manhandled, felt up. fingered, fondled and you-know-whatted. Nasty looking people need an occasional goose, too.

#UNFELT is #UNFAIR

So we’re adopting this group for the Holidays, all free of charge – it’s our gift and it’s good enough for the Government. We’d like to encourage all of our younger, hotter and more sexually permissive readers to take pause during this busy Season and give a little crotch grab to someone you find utterly repulsive. (Then run like hell so they don’t get the wrong idea. And yes – always wear gloves) You’ll make their day and build up some bonus karma points for yourself.

Here’s National Chairwoman, Rosa DeLauro in the #UNFELT is #UNFAIR official brochure:

unfelt
Click the picture to enlarge – the Rosas will open in a big, brand new window, just for you.

 

18 Comments

  1. This time of year really brings out the best in people and you are certainly no exception, Earl. I had tears in my eyes (allergies) while reading this piece and cannot wait to hit Wal-Mart tomorrow to claw some fattie cameltoe in order to show I care.
    Thank you. I mean it.

    1. Thanks vm. And that’s a grand strategy, btw. Use the crush of the crowd to conceal your true identity. Stand close to a really good looking person – your targets will think your gropes came from the hottie and they won’t call the police or have their boyfriends beat anybody up.

  2. I’ll use a stick with a disposable vibrator taped to the end. Ear plugs, eye protection and a gas mask or OSHA will fine my scared and disgusted ass.

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