Our Choice For Our FCC Holiday Public Service Requirement.

It’s a mandatory program required to renew our broadcasting license every year, but it’s also our chance to give back to the community by helping those less fortunate than most of us, here at Christmastime.

This year we’ve selected an organization working to help a surprisingly large number of needy people, who go largely unnoticed mostly because they are extremely hard to look at. Mostly products of unwise couplings between two unfortunately featured people, (both unquestionably under the influence of alcohol and/or mind-altering drugs as evidenced by the outcome of their coital engagement), but also a large segment of otherwise visually-normative people who have just gotten too old to resist gravity and became all soft, soggy and thus irredeemably disqualified for consideration of any physical contact ever.  These poor souls go months, years, even decades without the slightest leer, brush-by or feel of anything, from anyone.

Well it’s not fair that only younger, more fortunate and attractive people get hit on, stared at, suggested to, manhandled, felt up. fingered, fondled and you-know-whatted. Nasty looking people need an occasional goose, too.


So we’re adopting this group for the Holidays, all free of charge – it’s our gift and it’s good enough for the Government. We’d like to encourage all of our younger, hotter and more sexually permissive readers to take pause during this busy Season and give a little crotch grab to someone you find utterly repulsive. (Then run like hell so they don’t get the wrong idea. And yes – always wear gloves) You’ll make their day and build up some bonus karma points for yourself.

Here’s National Chairwoman, Rosa DeLauro in the #UNFELT is #UNFAIR official brochure:


Click the picture to enlarge – the Rosas will open in a big, brand new window, just for you.


18 responses to “Our Choice For Our FCC Holiday Public Service Requirement.

  1. Navyvet November 23, 2017 at 8:21 pm

    Not gonna enlarge that. I need eyebleach as it is. I doubt Slick would hit on that. Franken would though.

  2. Scooter Van Neuter November 23, 2017 at 9:24 pm

    This time of year really brings out the best in people and you are certainly no exception, Earl. I had tears in my eyes (allergies) while reading this piece and cannot wait to hit Wal-Mart tomorrow to claw some fattie cameltoe in order to show I care.
    Thank you. I mean it.

  3. silvestris November 23, 2017 at 10:27 pm

    Sorry Earl, but she is gonna have to get used to be unfelt.

  4. deBoyle November 23, 2017 at 10:56 pm

    A Vietnamese family of 6 could live comfortably in that schoz.

  5. Diogenes November 24, 2017 at 12:41 am

    For years I thought Rosa Delauro was an ogre that lived up in the Capital Dome that spit on people.

  6. Mike a.k.a. Proof November 24, 2017 at 8:02 pm

    Or, as H.L.Mencken said “If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl.”

  7. Lee Van Queef II November 25, 2017 at 8:26 am

    I’ll use a stick with a disposable vibrator taped to the end. Ear plugs, eye protection and a gas mask or OSHA will fine my scared and disgusted ass.

  8. iratenate November 27, 2017 at 12:27 pm

    Hopin’ for a Gropin’
    good stuff!

  9. Andy November 28, 2017 at 9:49 am

    Looks like Perry Farrell from Jane’s Addiction.


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