Monthly Archives: September 2017
You’ll see none of these stories mentioned in the Mainstream Media. You have to come here to see this kind of Truth.
The former First Lady was verified as ‘beached’ by USCG spotters and our initial report was filed on the basis of the Coast Guard advisory. However on closer examination of the wire photos and interviews with local witnesses, we now realize she was actually grubbing the beach for mollusks, shellfish and possibly choice cuts of Wagyu beef. She had merely come ashore to feed and was later observed waddling back into the ocean where she breached once – to air blow a sharply loud and obnoxiously pungent/acrid methane bomb (as per local accounts, all eyes downwind were watering, just prior to the waves of vomiting) – and swam contentedly away. There were a few dead fish observed floating in her wake and locals claim a flock of seagulls that flew through the methane cloud all fell from the sky into the surf, shortly after exiting the gaseous airspace.
Ahem. You have a REAL one. Show that. You’ll provoke like all get out.
That’s the way we’ll get to see her get knocked back down.
She thought Houston was fitty miles below sea level
Her presentation to Congress is shown below. They required her to get some tests. Turns out she has an object embedded in her brain which most likely occurred at some point in her youth. Doctors say there is little chance of removing the object without causing a further loss of control over most of her bodily functions… and that’s a risk nobody is willing to take. So they’re just going to leave it be and let her get back to representing the thoughts and feelings of the people in her district so perfectly, as always.
Great news, indeed.
Behold, a most formidable foe. Only cold weather can stop them. And if they ever get those tiny little coat mills operational, it’s all over.
This is an actual photo of the ‘floating balls of fire ants’ in Texas, as mentioned in the news. Just fyi This occurs throughout the South, not just here.
Officials rushed to inform the Media that some previous announcements had falsely stated that further donations of food items to local shelters were no longer necessary.
Those announcements had, in fact, stirred up a good measure of tension in the aid camps and residents reacted quite strongly, resulting in a few minor scuffles with aid workers and volunteers.
Best we can tell, the main issue isn’t that the shelter has no food available but that some residents were expecting an upgrade over the food they already have at home. One outspoken refugee gave us her account:
“Back in the shelters after Katrina, oh man we ate like Kings. Crawfish Etoufee, Gumbo, Redfish, you name it. Here it’s Spam, Ramen Noodles and motherf***in’ Spaghettios?? Frankly we expect better from a name brand Refuge, in this day and age. They’ve lost our business and we won’t be back.”
The individual stories of heroism and thoughtful actions – throughout the Harvey weather disaster – are too numerous to mention. This one really got to us though.
Of course they have a Navy. The proud vessel pictured below is the Flagship of their vast nautical fleet. Apparently, our recent coverage of ongoing Nazi activity has alerted them to the the presence of their arch-enemies (ie; pretty much anyone) in Houston and they have sent a rapid attack force to, in the words of their press release:
“…Defend All Communities Of Colors from the hateful, oppressive and perversely privileged ACT of rich white people playing like they’re Helping Victims Solely Out Of Kindness And Concern when they’re really hateful racist Nazi warpigs, handing out disease-ridden blankets and tainted food to the poor victims of this watery purge.”
This came to us via vigilant reader and dedicated citizen Edsss (nom de plume). We are always grateful for any hot tips from our followers, please keep them coming. (and remember, you’ll get a coupon for $2.00 off selected store brand frozen entrees – for every suggestion sent!)
The pardon granted to former Maricopa County AZ Sheriff Joe Arpaio by President Trump has ignited a firestorm of anger from Progressives, who believe the former Sheriff should be executed for being white. The visual icon of the newly formed Movement To Kill Sheriff Joe’s Old White Ass will be the infamous Pink Panties issued to inmates in the former sheriff’s Arizona “Tent City” jail. MTKSJOWA protesters will all don the pink unders (in their own stylish and creative ways!) to signal their collective outrage at the blatantly racist symbolism of forcing people of color to wear under-garments hued like a white woman’s labiatus vulvatimus.
Then that other shoe drops…