The individual stories of heroism and thoughtful actions – throughout the Harvey weather disaster – are too numerous to mention. This one really got to us though.
She didn’t have to outrun the shark, she only had to outrun her Fetus
What a mind! Chased by a fetus. “And the fetus is gaining fast. Look at those little nubs pump.”
Officer. “Mister, do you know how fast you were going?”
Earl: “Yup. About as fast as my car.”
Personally, I would never sacrifice my Fetus. For one thing, I think it’s a sin. And keeping it would cause a festive scientific Pachanga over Human Reproduction. I’d be a star.
What a brave little doggy! RIP *burp*
He was fat and arthritic, his breath smelled like his ass and his ultra-dense, super-concentrated SBDs were heavier than air. They’d pool and aggregate at floor level, until the warmth of a human body came to rest nearby, causing the toxic vapor to rise up and envelop the unsuspecting victim.
He was a killer. He had it coming.
Vagina dropped her cigarette as she yelled to her puppy: “Run, Fetus, run!” But that big ol’ white shark exercised his privilege and chomped that po’ lil’ black pup Fetus. Vagina promptly dug out her Obammyphone and called the SPLC for legal aid. Tune in next week for the rest of this story.
Much Love to Curmudgeon at Political Clown Parade. I Am Honored, Madam.
A Fellow Texan Who Loves German Shepherds, Like Me
A Tremendous Honor from the Mothership
My Media Credentials
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