Honors I’ve Received From Nice People:
Thank You Cousin!
Whelp. We’ve come under fire in the comments today. We stand accused…quite sharply and profanely I must say…of “making shit up” in regards to our likely award-winning photojournalistical operetta on the recent flooding in Houston. Making Shit Up. The very idea.
The. Very. Idea.
We are appalled, to say the least. As semi-professional auxiliary journalists – every single one of us here (at the EOT Imagination Inflammation Sensation) are perfectly-seasoned with months of experience in crafting the newstruth for our viewers. The one accusation that cuts the closest to our hearts is a charge of Dishonesty in our coverage of current events. Nothing (yes, paternity claims are bad too but not typically considered as being professionally deadly) could ruin our reputations as completely as charges of lying, or even worse – fabricating the news from thin air.
So we’ll offer here, as further evidence of our honest and forthright quest for Truth, more photos depicting the News As It Really Is. Nasty, icky and smelly news – with no shiny Network polish or Big Cable Zesty Lefty facade. Straight Up and Raw. For the People. You take a look then tell us we’re Making Shit Up. We dare you, Haters.
This man cannot find his mother. She has Alzheimer’s and a history of running away. Anyone with information is urged to call the Sheriff’s Help Hotline . Thank you.
Reports of Obvious Insurance Scams Emerge – All Seniors Advised To Be Aware
Finally, our Top Story Tonight.
No one is covering it because no one ever thought it could be a problem, until now. But there is a genuine disaster in the making, down in storm-battered Houston. Exposure to driving rains and hurricane force winds have cost tens of thousands of women, men and woman-men their natural and artificial hair pieces, wigs and weaves. The replacement costs will be staggering.
But the real danger has only just become apparent. The sodden, wind-blown extensions are draining into one low-lying area of town, in overwhelming numbers. Sanitation crews cannot keep up with recovery and the excess do’s are clumping together into impenetrable mats, many infested with venomous creatures. Local Task Forces are working on a comprehensive plan of action but short term are shooting the weaves from helicopters.