Spotlight On POC Statuary: A Disadvantaged Community Sadly Memorializes Its Most Beloved Crack Addict


It was originally planned to be a fountain but budget shortfalls forced the Memorial Committee to scale back to a regular statue as the testimonial of the community’s genuine love and affection for the habitual vagrant and perennial disease vector known locally as Crackhead Jed.  Jedidiah Tyree Johnson was the name they used at the prison, but he always went by just Jed. Or CJ. His closest friends called him Lucky, because he’d never worked a day at a real job, ever.  And he’d always gotten by OK.  Until last week when he was tragically compacted to death in a trash truck behind the Food Land.

Now Jed was a brain-dead, wall-eyed, rock-smokin’ zombie – but he knew his dumpster pickup schedules – and he made his nightly sleeping arrangements accordingly.  The truck last week picked up a day early.  The driver was a recent hire, running an unfamiliar route.  Jed breathed his last into a soft, enveloping pillow of overripe mangoes.  And he was gone.  But now, he will never be forgotten.

JED

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6 responses to “Spotlight On POC Statuary: A Disadvantaged Community Sadly Memorializes Its Most Beloved Crack Addict

  1. bobdog August 19, 2017 at 10:35 pm

    Good one.

  2. poppajoe49 August 20, 2017 at 7:45 am

    I hear that Washington DC is scheduled to erect a similar memorial to Marion Barry.
    It’s supposed to feature the former mayor, a box of crack pipes that glow in the dark, and 4 crack whores in various states of undress. It’s reported that it will be funded by the National Endowment for the Arts, and shouldn’t cost more than $38 million.

  3. silvestris August 20, 2017 at 9:09 am

    A most fitting memorial to a great American. “Jeb, we will never forget you”.

  4. Papabear August 20, 2017 at 10:18 am

    All this time I thought Jed had “joint effusion” in his legs. People would refer to him as “knee-grow” and I just assumed. I didn’t know why they called him “whiz kid”, so I appreciate the clarification there, Earl. Thank you so much for the service you provide to us.

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