Honors I’ve Received From Nice People:
Thank You Cousin!
It was originally planned to be a fountain but budget shortfalls forced the Memorial Committee to scale back to a regular statue as the testimonial of the community’s genuine love and affection for the habitual vagrant and perennial disease vector known locally as Crackhead Jed. Jedidiah Tyree Johnson was the name they used at the prison, but he always went by just Jed. Or CJ. His closest friends called him Lucky, because he’d never worked a day at a real job, ever. And he’d always gotten by OK. Until last week when he was tragically compacted to death in a trash truck behind the Food Land.
Now Jed was a brain-dead, wall-eyed, rock-smokin’ zombie – but he knew his dumpster pickup schedules – and he made his nightly sleeping arrangements accordingly. The truck last week picked up a day early. The driver was a recent hire, running an unfamiliar route. Jed breathed his last into a soft, enveloping pillow of overripe mangoes. And he was gone. But now, he will never be forgotten.