Breaking News Update – Debbie Weimaraner-Snautz Kidnapped In Pakistan – SOLD INTO SLAVERY
(Ed. Correction: While we can verify she has been listed on the market, there have been no certified offers to actually buy her, for money. Test drives do not count. We stand corrected.)
Surveillance video from the Karachi terminal documents the moment the fugitive Florida Representative was rendered insensible by the consumption of 16 Peach Mango Daiquiris and two orders of chili-cheese goat ribs in the airport’s kebab grill. She was then loaded into a large travel locker and wheeled out the door.
Then this photo hit the wires, confirming the runaway Congresswoman is currently on the Slave Market, somewhere in the remote tribal regions of Pakistan. As there is little to no chance she can be rescued from this extremely dangerous area, we won’t waste our time trying. We wish her the best.