FACT: There Is Nothing In The Known Universe More Repulsive – Therefore We Nominate Lena Dunham For The Office Of Planetary Protector!

She’s found her true calling. Bless her blisteringly toxic monster hoo-hah. May she always use her power for good.

planetary protector



16 responses to “FACT: There Is Nothing In The Known Universe More Repulsive – Therefore We Nominate Lena Dunham For The Office Of Planetary Protector!

  1. Diogenes August 5, 2017 at 5:45 pm

    Will the PPO’s…..ah…..weapon system work on Korean Fat Kids too?

    • Earl of Taint August 6, 2017 at 7:57 am

      It should eventually. They are trying to tweak the ‘recipe’ a bit as the Norks actually enjoy the aroma of dead fish and cabbage. To be honest, it’s a challenge finding a good Nork repellent but the leading candidate appears to be Old Spice.

  2. perfesserplum August 5, 2017 at 6:30 pm

    God Lord! You are THE Master. With all due, respect, howsomeever, are you aided by, say, earlier use of LSD combined with that all-important fuel, Dexedrine? (in the convenient quart size) You manage to combine hallucinatory imagery with savage wit. “Repellent activated” indeed. I thought I’d hit mid-season form when I tweeted her to Shut up, pie face. Lame. Just plain lame.

    • Earl of Taint August 6, 2017 at 7:47 am

      Thanks Perf. It was years ago. I was young and I needed the money. There have been no ‘flashbacks’ – and to be honest I still feel cheated about that.

  3. Lee Van Queef II August 5, 2017 at 7:32 pm

    Take it from Earl (and me), Darth Syphilis’ kyber crystal encrusted cooch cavern has waaaay more queef power than it took to repel a wimpy, little asteroid.

    It’s a planet killing Death C*nt.

  4. SafeSpace August 5, 2017 at 7:44 pm

    I’d like to see a three-way queef-ray duel between Dunham, Moochelle, and Debbie Waterboard Schmutz. Making book on the outcome would be a challenge….

    • poppajoe49 August 6, 2017 at 1:51 am

      I’d be scared that your idea would result in something similar to the Ghostbusters
      “crossing the streams” of their proton packs!

      • Earl of Taint August 6, 2017 at 7:24 am

        Considering the complex coordination of air traffic control to keep commercial flights out of the beam, the firing of concurrent nasty vagina rays has been banned by the FAA. They could take turns, however.

  5. Wingman August 5, 2017 at 10:18 pm

    Looks like Lena has mowed the entire airport and only left a landing strip concentrating all of those killer crotch critters.

    • Earl of Taint August 6, 2017 at 7:33 am

      The most noxious elements in her emissions are fabricated internally. Some of the most lethal have synthesized into poisonous compounds unknown by modern science, though they have determined the substance common to all is cake.

  6. poppajoe49 August 6, 2017 at 1:55 am

    Earl, wouldn’t Lena “Bubble Butt” Dunham be big enough to act as an airbag, and prevent any damage by allowing the asteroid to bounce off her ample belly, sending it careening back into space?

  7. Deplorable B Woodman August 7, 2017 at 3:33 pm

    Skank stank.

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