Honors I’ve Received From Nice People:
Thank You Cousin!
Just a motley assortment of the kind of things Alzheimer’s is good for.
Starting with a look back to last Summer…
Chipotle says they won’t be buying any beef from Texas. They’ll ship it in 8,000 miles from Australia instead, to save the planet. Hop on over and try one.
Some wise guy/gal/confused tried to photoshop a recent photo Lena Dunham posted of herself naked because she can’t get enough. We fetched the original, as a service to our readers. Enjoy.
Only 6 more days of official mandatory governmental celebrations of sexual perversions – and all the wrong kinds – left until UnProud.
Truly sad and tragic news from Pakistan as a local mosque directed locals to the scene of an overturned tanker truck, leaking petrol. The people raced to collect free gas from the scene. Then a horrible (but inevitable) fire bomb exploded, killing at least 150 people who were standing in gasoline, siphoning into jerry cans…FFS.
Horrible and sad. Also very, very, very stupid.
The Obamas are on vacation in Indonesia, land of Obama’s youth. They’ll spend 2 weeks in deluxe accommodations owned by his distantly related cousins from the Indo-Lesbesian tribe. No word on whether they will eat any dog, this trip.
CNN isn’t the only network sending sketch artists to cover the audio/video-free briefings. That’s right, I once had a promising future in the courtroom sketch artisting business but I got blacklisted for taking too many “editorial liberties”. Hard to figure, I know. Of course I was young and proud like, so I refused to compromise my artistrican oath…I had swore to draw them as I see them. Now I just do it for fun. Here’s an example from my pro-grade sketchbook:
She can talk all she wants, we’re happy to listen. We do not wish her harm, we want to see her live a long and fruitful stretch of 15-25 years without parole. We do however foresee other parties that might
want need to silence her voice. It’s only a guess.
Imagine the Media reaction to a Teacher Of The Year flashing a Bible in their photo with the President. Or a license to carry a concealed weapon? How about a Teacher Bro swinging a lacy bra? Or a MidEastern Teacher bringing his goat?
The President was warm and welcoming. He took no issue with your ‘flair’. But ‘HA-HA IN YOUR FACE YOU FASCIST NAZI HOMOPHOBIC CHEETOH!! HA-HAHAHA!’
To Hell with these people.
OTOH, these things will be hot sellers, for a while. Carpe Diem…a buck’s a buck.
Update: Meet the TOTY from The Lone Star State. Here in Texas, we choose our best teacher while adhering to a different set of criteria than many schools. The candidates’ sexuality is not considered a basis for the award as the students themselves vote for the winner and what do they know about having sex at their tender young ages. Don’t be silly. And no, we’re not going to discuss it. Now look, this is a real Teacher…
My Dad died years ago. But I’ll never forget him or the amazing things he taught me. Like fly fishing. He was simply the best Dad ever. I’ll never forgive Mom for hiring that hit man.