Happy Mother’s Day

Hope it was a swell day for all you Moms out there. To honor the occasion, we’re having a little contest to see which of these 3 celebrities our readers would choose to be the mother of their own children. And yes, the rules clearly state the winner must verify that he/she has in fact mated* with their selection in order to collect the $500 million in prize money.  (*photo/video proof of insemination will suffice – conception is not required.)

Ready?  Make your choice and good luck!


Choose Carefully — No Backs!

10 responses to “Happy Mother’s Day

  1. Lee Van Queef II May 14, 2017 at 10:16 pm

    I thought about it. After three emetic episodes I decided I would rather cut off my junk and work at H&R Block preparing taxes for the homeless instead. Definitely pursue a side career in opioid addiction if that didn’t work out. It was the Humanzee’s pit hair-facial gestault, it’s like syrup of Ipecac.

  2. Diogenes Sarcastica May 15, 2017 at 12:38 am

    Fortunately I’m exempt from this contest because of improper plumbing, but I have one question – shouldn’t at least one of the choices have at least a few normal human chromosomes?

    • Earl of Taint May 15, 2017 at 8:49 pm

      I can get you a syringe or baster or something. No one is left out.
      And yes they should but nobody normal would play. (We even had to lie to the bowling ball – true story.)

  3. poppajoe49 May 15, 2017 at 12:39 am

    I choose the bowling ball. It’s the most attractive of the 3, and would be the least annoying to live with.

  4. papabear1950 May 15, 2017 at 7:21 am

    By the power of deduction, the only way I can determine the winner is by that special word to prove it… what is it… well, on the left you have “infestation”… in the middle, “inflammation”, so I go with the right… “inculcation”!

  5. KenH May 15, 2017 at 10:19 pm

    Use the bowling ball and cave in the other two scumbag’s skulls and call it even

  6. The Rat Fink May 16, 2017 at 6:36 pm

    That should be a wrecking ball, not a bowling ball.
    Just don’t let either of these two imbeciles do a Miley Cyrus on it!

  7. Wingman May 17, 2017 at 4:02 pm

    I’m going with the bowling ball…I could eat it if I had to.


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