1. There was a chinese sign that read: “Quit asking about your cat, I no see him. Try the s&s chicken it’s purrfect.

  2. While in the Army, in order to get trainees through the chow line rapidly, and to throw a little gallows humor at them, I often exhorted them with the loud rendering of, ” Move along men, they’re serving cake and cock, and they’re running out of cake”. Having had to eat, in Germany, very old canned and irradiated spaghetti, frozen, with a plastic spoon, I often have time to reflect on the state of my ruined digestive system, and how I probably ruined a few others as well. Cigarettes, cold coffee, and abominable food is not a plan for a happy old age. But, you pays your money, and you takes your chances. Never eat anything bigger than your own head, or that you can’t see, or that tastes, “funny”.

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