Folks – This came to me straight from HQ, so you can rest assured it has been fully vetted for accuracy and certified as genuine.
A photo of the Bill and Hillary Clinton wedding night scandal has emerged and it may knock them out of the 2016 presidential race for good. Showing the moment priests arrived to find Hillary mysteriously pinned to the future President and suspended over a foot above the mattress!
The record notes the priests were appalled and worked quickly to exorcise the demon out of Hillary, but Bill stayed put. Hillary long ago confessed she loves cherry cheesecake much more than sex with men – and this photo confirms the object of her desire, quite clearly.
EARL OF TAINT 
I now need an exorcism for my eyes!
Ice pick works well. Most likely irreversible though. Be very careful.
Can you twist her head around and around until it pops off? Then, we can douse the body in kerosene and start a campfire.
Considering the current toilet debate, when is shrillary going to “spew” “pee soup”? “Canklectomy”… you’ve done it again!