Bernie Sanders Nude At Woodstock

Trigger warning??  You saw the headline, get real.

(EoT/MFNS) In a stunning revelation, a series of photos have surfaced today on the World Wide Web that claim to depict a young Bernie Sanders swimming naked and sexually harassing a young female reveler at the Woodstock music, sex and drugs festival in 1960s upstate New York somewhere. We’ve chosen to display only the first photo as the others depict (allegedly) Sanders masturbating to orgasm against the woman’s flotation device and as such are unsuitable for posting on a family oriented site.

A word of caution for our most delicate viewers: This picture shows Bernie’s penis. It is small, flaccid and completely non-threatening to most adults. You may however want to avert your eyes at this point.


We apologize for the graphic frontal nudity.We only allow it to confirm the man in the photo (reported to be Senator Bernie Sanders) is Jewish.


14 responses to “Bernie Sanders Nude At Woodstock

  1. Blue Lou Boyle February 13, 2016 at 4:52 pm

    Earl, you’ve updated the dung beetles!!!! Excellent!!! Looking forward to seeing Janeane Garofalo, Huma and Lynch next!! Oh, maybe that disgusting slime bag Schumer too???
    btw, your posting of Bernie makes me want to staht a movement……hope there’s paper left…
    Ps, love Debbie! Well done!

  2. Jim Drake February 13, 2016 at 8:08 pm

    Is that Hillary in front of Bernie? If so, she certainly has gotten much uglier.

  3. Jnana Hodson February 14, 2016 at 2:09 pm

    As Louis Abolafia used as a campaign motto: WHAT HAVE I GOT TO HIDE?

  4. Papabear February 14, 2016 at 11:19 pm

    Okay, so we are told that shrillary got “schlonged”, but this photo PROVES that Bernie got “SCHLORTED”! I heard he bought a summer home on Lake Flacid, NY. He posed (life size) for the picture on cans of Vienna Sausages. I heard the Mohel at his Bris had to use a Scanning Transmission Electron Microscope for the circumcision. I heard he couldn’t get Monica Lewinsky to return his calls. I heard he went to the bus station and COULDN’T get arrested for “indecent exposure”.

  5. foreskinless February 16, 2016 at 10:46 pm

    some of us, although not Jewish, had our genitals (penis) MUTILATED without our permission or knowledge. Thanks to idiot parents and doctors. Penis mutilation is a sacrifice to God, but when it is done to a innocent new-born It is societal perversion.

  6. Scooter Van Neuter February 21, 2016 at 8:33 pm

    Oh, for the love of God. If I were a grown man rocking the penis of a 3-year-old I’d be a little more modest.
    Just sayin’.

    • Earl of Taint February 24, 2016 at 7:52 pm

      In anticipation of a visit from the LEOs, I must assert that this characterization of the penis is purely founded in the vivid imagination of the commenter, Mr Van Neuter and he alone. We do not post kiddie porn on this here site. Never. Well never on purpose, that’s for sure.

  7. Anonymous August 17, 2019 at 8:49 am

    Do ya think maybe he got some of the “Bad Acid” that was going around? Would explain a lot.


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