I’m giving some thought to entering the Presidential race. Yes it’s late but someone needs to better represent the interests and concerns of the Just Leave Me The Fuck Alone (JLMTFA) community. Cruz comes closest, but he’s still a guy who will, if elected, do stuff.
Not me. If I were to be elected, I wouldn’t do much of anything. That guy in the ad? That’s not me, he’s a paid professional actor and he will be the face of my administration. You’ll never actually see me – I’ll be at some exclusive resort, taking it easy. Oh I’ll make the necessary calls on big stuff…sending the military out to kick someone’s ass, guarding the borders, Supreme Court picks and other important stuff…I’ll be in charge through secure remote connections. The guy in the ad (aka “Pretty Boy”) will hold the press conferences, kiss babies and do fundraisers and all the other public shit for the Media. He won’t be traveling much though. He can go to Canada or Mexico only. This will save billions – and we’ll rebate the money saved right back to the American people that actually paid taxes, not wheelbarrow it over to some other government boondoggle.
I could go on but it’s too much effort.
EARL OF TAINT 
Got my vote…
Thanks Bud
Mine too!
I’d vote for you in a HEARTBEAT, Earnald, but you’ve first got to tell me why you wear a bathmat on your head.
THAT is his Donald Trump wig. It’s popular right now. Get used to it, Bear. Got my vote, Earl!
Gracias mi Amigo.
That’s what we politicians call “trophy hair”, but it’s not me wearing it.
Hail to the Chief. Do not vote for Pedro. Vote early and often for Earnald Taint. A man for all seasons. A gentleman and a scholar.
Hey, Pedro could be Veep. He’s low energy. :)
Pedro is exemplary. Great choice. We must vet him.
Bless you. You’ll be Secretary of Something – just remember, don’t do things.
I’m interested. Who do I grease for some special fav..private consultations about important manners vital to our country?
Beats me. We’ll let most of that stuff work itself out.But you’re welcome to visit anytime – just don’t bring anything fervent. Fervention gets on our nerves.
Earl, you already have your first endorsement.
http://suckersonparade.blogspot.com/2016/01/mfns-endorsement-for-president-of.html#.VptbOkCU7iM
You honor me, Madame. I am profoundly and deeply grateful for your support. The prestige of an endorsement from a major league website like yours is priceless. Indeed, you have just legitimatized my campaign. I just hope nobody expects me to get all worked up over it. Settle down people.
Where do I get my yard sign E?
I’m thinking about it. Making signs is a lot of work.
This election season, don’t vote for the €#%£¥ or the #^%€£, choose the Taint.
Wow, I think we have a slogan… “Taint a Candidate”!