As we’re marketing solely to Retards, you folks probably haven’t seen these ads before now. We just received another shipment of this hot new toy and it’s flying off the shelves almost as fast as the Star Wars stuff. Well so it occurred to us to offer it to our conservative readers who might need a fitting gift for the social and mental misfits in their own families or maybe something to donate to the local collective toy drive. Because we know you’d never purchase such a thing for any decent child you care for in the slightest, we’re offering this remarkable toy to you at our cost. That’s right, only $4.34 each and that includes ground shipping to any address in the continental United States. Alaskans, Pacific Islanders and all residents of US Territories are too much trouble so they can fuck off.
Use the code IMNOTATARD at checkout to receive your automatic sanity discount. Have A Very Merry Christmas!
Oh and I almost forgot to credit devoted reader SteveK for sending the original idea. Thanks dude!