Congratulations to my friend, angel, editor, boss and wise compatriot Diogenes Sarcastica on the 5th anniversary of the founding of Diogenes Middle Finger and the worldwide media empire known as MFNS. On behalf of myself and the rest of the staff here at EOT (a Berkshire-Hathaway Company), I present you with this custom made, Scotch Chocolate Cake along with our best wishes for many more years of global internet dominance and your continued benevolent reign over us all.
(Update) I should tell you this wasn’t my first choice of cakes. I thought I could get away with a $15 deal from Walmart if I had it personalized to add a bit of artisan baker cachet. The result was completely unacceptable – which I chalked up as a lesson learned rather then fight over a refund with what had to be the most un-Jolly Baker I’ve ever encountered. Of course, the fact that he was as black as Toby’s asshole didn’t help.