by Earl of Taint/ MFNS
GENEVA/Yo-de-lay-ee-oh! — Secretariat of State John F. Kerry cut short a scheduled week-long overseas trip Sunday to return home after suffering injuries during an early-morning bicycling accident near this Swiss city.
A spokesman said Kerry, 71, broke his right femur, near the site of prior hip replacement surgery, a portion of his face, near the site of prior cosmetic surgery and suffered deep trauma wounds to his genitalia, which may be attributable to a recent round of negotiations in Turkey. No one else was involved in the accident, which occurred when Kerry hit a curb with his bicycle.
As the injuries are deemed as occurring in service to the country, Kerry has awarded himself three additional Purple Heart medals, bringing his total count to a world record 26.
EARL OF TAINT 
You are about the only person who can really make me laugh these days! That “yo-de-lay-de-O” is a gift that really keeps giving!
Thanks! It does get stuck in your head, doesn’t it?
I hear he awarded himself a fourth Purple Heart on the plane back.
Yep, heavy turbulence.
This is deserving of at least a half dozen more purple hearts. I mean this guy has sacrificed so much for so long for America. Earl most excellent work and reporting as usual. Diogenes just doesn’t realize what a true gem you are. ;)
Too bad the dumbass didn’t break his neck.
I think the Iranians jumped him again. We’ll never know.
Excellent! This would be hilarious if it weren’t likely true :)
Thanks! (Everything here is relatively true most of the time.)
Too bad he didn’t land on his mouth. We wouldn’t have to listen to his shazit.
Photo looks like what Samson used to kill 1000 men, the jawbone of an ass!