The Toddler Acted Stupidly


In a rare show of fairness, I decided to post the original photo from which the post below was derived. You’ll notice that Boehner and McConnell are nowhere to be seen. I added them through a rather crude form of photo manipulation known popularly as “Photoshop”. Yes I did. Note that the character lying prone on the carpet is not Mitch McConnell, but a young child who reportedly informed the First (ahem) Lady that she would not eat the broccoli rabe/quinoa & corn smut appetizer “not ever EVER!”, triggering an impulsive right jab and swinging head kick from FLOTUS that knocked the child insensible. Mrs Obama claims she overheard the child telling her mother that a ‘big nasty gorilla is trying to make me eat her poo-poo!’, which caused a snap reaction and momentary loss of self-control. That and the steroids. The child is resting comfortably and is expected to make a full recovery within 8-10 years.

For the record, that is what actually happened, my original post was all made up.

The Actual Photo, Unretouched.

The Actual Photo, Unretouched.

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6 responses to “The Toddler Acted Stupidly

    • Earl of Taint May 28, 2015 at 8:28 pm

      Indeed. Word is that later on, one of the guests questioned the propriety of FLOTUS’ choice of entree for this Passover meal. I’m told he was pulled from the room and sodomized with a pork rib. It’s being covered-up.

  1. GruntOfMonteCristo May 28, 2015 at 3:24 pm

    Beautiful work, Earl. After her kick-boxing video, I’m certainly not letting any of my grandkids near her!

    • Earl of Taint May 28, 2015 at 8:20 pm

      That’s because you’re a loving Grandpa. No one who truly loves their little ones would ever allow them within striking distance of FLOTUS’ giant hams. These parents are rank abusers. And thanks, buddy.

      • unomac May 29, 2015 at 7:06 pm

        Considering her formidable Poo-Jitsu abilities, I’d wanna keep the little ones well outside of the blast radius of those giant hams!!

  2. Wahoo May 31, 2015 at 5:42 am

    FLOTUS does look like a boxer (no disrespect toward the canine breed intended).

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