Honors I’ve Received From Nice People:
Thank You Cousin!
Compiled from MFNS Staff reports
SEOUL, March 31st (MFNS) – Dirty Korea fired more than 100 artillery rounds into Good Korean Waters as part of a drill on Monday, prompting the Goods to fire back, officials in Seoul said. More than 100 Dirty Korean shells out of 500 or so fired landed in Good Korean Waters, prompting the Good marines to fire back with more than 300 rounds into the Dirty Waters. Both Waters suffered significant casualties and deaths though reports are sketchy and the numbers are unconfirmed.
Dirty Korea released a photograph of leader Kim Jung Un inspecting what appears to be holes in the Dirty Waters. Based on this photo, our own field reports and interviews with survivors and eyewitnesses, we have created the map below indicating points where the Waters on both sides were shot to death.
If the numbers hold true, this will rank as perhaps the most deadly tragedy since the attacks on Pearl Harbor, in terms of Waters.
Vice President Joe Biden delivered a sharp slap to the North Korean regime by openly defying a recent Kim Jung Un edict that all men style their hair in his fashion. In a clear dig at the directive, Biden appeared at a news conference today sporting hair styled like his own boss, Barack Obama. The Koreans responded with disdain, announcing they “take no account of man who head rook zachary rike dogtaint.” The White House refused comment.