Middle Finger News Service
August 10, 2013
In a bold move sure to be replicated by desperate liberals everywhere, embattled Democratic Mayor Bob Filner of San Diego emerged from intensive libido-cessation therapy a week early, announcing the treatment was 100% successful and she has become a woman.
Upon hearing this development authorities announced a dismissal of all pending charges as well as a blanket waiver of any future accusations against California’s first democratically elected transgender Grrl Mayor. “She’s protected-class now, stated LC Therapy Team Leader Rosie O’Donnell, …you can’t touch her. But she can touch you.”
Filner says she currently has no plans for surgery. “That’s the best part. I get to keep my unit. I’m a lesbian, I’m not gay.”