Obama’s Go Commercial?


They can’t do this in America yet but MFNS has learned President Obama and First Lady Michelle have been signed to a major personal services contract with Africa’s largest breakfast cereal maker Kenyalogg’s. Apparently filmed during their recent multi-million dollar trip to the continent, MFNS has obtained 2 still shots from ads currently in rotation in major African television and print markets. In addition to 7-figure salaries the world leaders were also compensated with 14 pallet loads of their favorite cereals. (Ed Note: The Ads are written in Swahili.)

Here’s the ad that features Michelle’s favorite, the basic flakes and grubs. She’s gone native in a big way since the recent trip and she’s making a concerted effort to limit her diet to authentic, natural foods just as they existed for her forebears, when they came down out of the trees at times.

obama african cereal commercial

And now here’s the ad for the flavor POTUS prefers:

obama african cereal commercial

Both commercials are reportedly big hits in Africa and the cereals are selling briskly. Encouraging news for the cereal maker as it plans to roll-out the basic flavor (products containing dog are banned in America) to the US market soon after Obama leaves office. Targeting the stupisticated, liberal, urban, malodorous enviro-twunts who represent an affluent demographic willing to eat insects if their Minders decree it is Hip. The testimonials from the Obamas speak to the very soul of that key market segment and should reinforce the acceptance of the (intentional) introduction of insect larvae into the American food chain.

Kenyalogg’s spokespeople were keen to note that all product sold in America will be manufactured from locally-sourced insectualated proteins, with housefly larvae (maggots), ant eggs and earthworm casings expected to provide the primary feedstocks. Localized factories will supplement with regionally and seasonally available insectoid compounds and secretions to create flavors unique to every section of the country. The company is soliciting feedback from communities near the proposed factory sites for recommendations on which type(s) of pestilence to include in the local Mix.

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-filed by earl of taint/ MFNS

 

5 responses to “Obama’s Go Commercial?

  1. GruntOfMonteCristo July 5, 2013 at 3:01 am

    Guffawing my ass off. Pina colada dog blend. If that doesn’t make Barry’s eyes perk up, NOTHING will. Except maybe getting a sext from Reggie. You have a gift with the advertising, Earl, and positive these visuals would bugs to the targeted demographic of sophistimacated but otherwise retarded enviro-twunts. Hell, those grubs even look good to me. I think you’re gonna have a challenge with the Florida version. It’s hard to make those palmetto bugs and cucarachas look appetizing. Good luck with that!

    • GruntOfMonteCristo July 5, 2013 at 3:05 am

      Damn, it’s too late for me to be commenting in English. Should probably try Swahili. I meant to type “I’m positive these visuals would SELL bugs to enviro-twunts.”

      • Earl of Taint July 5, 2013 at 6:36 am

        Thanks Grunt! I used Google Translate for the Swahili – don’t recall exactly what verbiage I plugged in but I know one line translates to Shut Your Monkey Ass Up.
        I get into these chops and kind of get carried away – obviously. It’s just fun for me, glad to know some others enjoy it as well. I thank you and all for the encouragement.

  2. michellesbigbeaver July 6, 2013 at 4:56 pm

    There’s nothing and I mean nothing that satisfies Obama’s severe case of the munches like a nice large bowl of “Honey Bunches of Grubs” after he’s whiffed several large containers of Jenkem!!
    (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jenkem) And nothing makes Jenkem like eating “Honey Bunches of Grubs” especially after they passed through Michelle’s colon…..

    • Earl of Taint July 7, 2013 at 12:07 pm

      And now I know what jenkem is. Just plain nasty. But anyone who has stood inside a port-o-potty, in Texas, in the summer has experienced similar phenomena – unless they do not breathe at all in the port-o-potty, which is most of us.

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