They can’t do this in America yet but MFNS has learned President Obama and First Lady Michelle have been signed to a major personal services contract with Africa’s largest breakfast cereal maker Kenyalogg’s. Apparently filmed during their recent multi-million dollar trip to the continent, MFNS has obtained 2 still shots from ads currently in rotation in major African television and print markets. In addition to 7-figure salaries the world leaders were also compensated with 14 pallet loads of their favorite cereals. (Ed Note: The Ads are written in Swahili.)
Here’s the ad that features Michelle’s favorite, the basic flakes and grubs. She’s gone native in a big way since the recent trip and she’s making a concerted effort to limit her diet to authentic, natural foods just as they existed for her forebears, when they came down out of the trees at times.
And now here’s the ad for the flavor POTUS prefers:
Both commercials are reportedly big hits in Africa and the cereals are selling briskly. Encouraging news for the cereal maker as it plans to roll-out the basic flavor (products containing dog are banned in America) to the US market soon after Obama leaves office. Targeting the stupisticated, liberal, urban, malodorous enviro-twunts who represent an affluent demographic willing to eat insects if their Minders decree it is Hip. The testimonials from the Obamas speak to the very soul of that key market segment and should reinforce the acceptance of the (intentional) introduction of insect larvae into the American food chain.
Kenyalogg’s spokespeople were keen to note that all product sold in America will be manufactured from locally-sourced insectualated proteins, with housefly larvae (maggots), ant eggs and earthworm casings expected to provide the primary feedstocks. Localized factories will supplement with regionally and seasonally available insectoid compounds and secretions to create flavors unique to every section of the country. The company is soliciting feedback from communities near the proposed factory sites for recommendations on which type(s) of pestilence to include in the local Mix.
-filed by earl of taint/ MFNS