To What Location Should We Exile Hillary?

Who deserves her most? Give me your thoughts folks. We’ll work something up, perhaps.

To Where shall she be banished, forever?

Because It’s Really A War On Men

The old double standard. So unfair, right Billy-goat? I sure think it is.

hilly katy

It’s not visible in the photo but eyewitnesses say the former Secretary of State was eagerly dry humping Katy Perry’s scantily clad buttocks when this selfie was snapped.

UPDATE: The testimony of the 7 verified eyewitnesses cannot be corroborated as they were all found dead tonight in the city landfill, each with a bullet wound to the back of the head, execution style. Police and local officials have ruled it a mass suicide and called for increased gun control to remedy the sudden epidemic – a shocking 400,002% increase in deaths on Wednesdays since the City was founded some 700 years ago! Appeals for federal aid will go out for funding a new task force tasked with educating the public on not killing themselves and cover administrative costs, furnishings and so forth.

SIPRNet = Hillary Is Guilty

The Secret Internet Protocol Router Network (SIPRNet) is the Department of Defense  network for the exchange of classified information and messages at the SECRET level.  It supports the Global Command and Control System, the Defense Message System, and numerous other classified warfighting and planning applications. Although the SIPRNet uses the same communications procedures as the Internet, it has dedicated and encrypted lines that are separate from all other communications systems.

You can only access SIPRNet through a dedicated machine in a secured room, like this  photo of an outdated (ca 1999) comms room in some US agency, somewhere.

SIPRNet

“Behind the Green Door” (vintage) secure communications center

So how to get data off SIPRNet and distributed somewhere else?  You have have to use the SNEAKERNet. Physically copy then walk the data to the recipient machine cleared to accept it. But there are serious rules for this…

Linking a computer with access to the SIPRNet to the Internet or to any other computer or media storage device that has not been approved for use with SECRET information is a serious security violation. Once any media storage device such as a CD or thumb drive has been connected to a computer with access to the SIPRNet, it becomes classified at the SECRET level. It must be protected accordingly and shall not be used on any unclassified computer.  

So, whatever is pulled off SIPRNet – anything at all – remains classified. Even if you strip out all the headers, etc., if it originated on SIPRNet, it is a crime to send it out to an unclassified system.

Hillary Clinton’s private home server held documents that originated on SIPRNet. Her claim that they weren’t marked as such at the time becomes laughable when you consider she would certainly be hyper aware (with her 20 years of experience in DC) of the required security protocols. She had to know her aides were pulling data and walking it back to upload to her unsecure, unauthorized private computer. And she knew they were breaking the law by doing it. She had to know how a non-credentialed employee of her Foundation gained access to highly sensitive SIPRNet intelligence – in complete violation of the law – and cut & pasted that intel into his own outbound emails to ‘clients’ and whatnot.

This is no longer a matter of conjecture. The logs will tell who accessed SIPRNet, what they looked at, downloaded and saved. Those folks ought to face some level of federal charges. Hillary absolutely certainly definitely should, since she’s guilty as hell. But for whatever reason, nobody seems to think she will.

Anyway, how’s that for a little in-depth reporting huh? No funny picture even. Sorry – I blew all my time on this Epistle. But here’s one from the archives…Hillary at the beach.

hillary_beach

I couldn’t leave you with nothing. And this one ought to stay with you for a while.

 

Idiot Out Walking Around (IOWA)

idiot out walking around

I Am Disappointed In Ted Cruz

Man.

Not the kind of thing I would expect from Ted. I want to hear his explanation for it because it’s a creepy Big Brother dishonest thing his campaign admits to doing here. A disqualifying kind of thing for me, if he defends and continues it. Hopefully that won’t be the case.

campaign 2016nastygram

Trying To Draw An Analogy Here

Does it work?

Not that a parking violation rises to the level of risking the security of the entire country to shield yourself from the discovery of and accountability for your clandestine activities with Sidney Blumenthal or anything. But the basic attitude is similar in both. The rules don’t apply to her – and other peoples’ lives don’t matter.

analogy

The Economy According To Bernie

berniens

In Respiratory Melt Down, Hillary Coughs Up Emails

hillary_coughs_up_emails

Bill To Advise Hillary On Campaign Tactics And Strategy

Analyzing all sides of the situation, quickly discerning the ideal outcome and formulating the best plan of attack to get there. Bill’s a super genius at that stuff. Hope she listens to him.

free hillary

Go for it, Hil. God knows, you need a rest. It will be a Women’s Prison, OK? All you can eat, knowhatimean? Let your hair down and never wash it. Wear political prisoner thick-framed glasses. Never shave your lip, legs or pits – and no more bikini waxings! Haha-freedom! You can compose and issue your Epic Manifesto! Everyone knows manifestos written in prison are the best kind of manifesto and they sell huge. And then, when you come out all shriveled, old and frail…you’ll be like a Gandhi or Mandela or Mother Teresa! DO IT!

 

Campaign Update: Well It Seems We Have Our First Scandal

I suppose with looks like his, it’s impossible to stop sex-crazed women from wanting him. Couple that with him having just about the biggest heart on him as any man that ever lived and…well, things like this are destined to happen. Oh well.

In un-good news for our fledgling campaign, our front man and stealth Earl has been busted down in the Florida Keys for, allegedly, heisting Trump’s private plane along with its trio of hand picked, young, hot, blonde, bisexual and exceptionally kinky flight attendants. Unverified local reports are stating when Police broke into the motel room, “…Taint (not me, the actor -Ed.) and his hostages were engaged in a drunken, half-naked exhibition of savage girl on girl beatings – which he robustly encouraged in order to satisfy his sick, sadistic, perverted animal urges…” (Again, as much as this may sound like me, I assure you it is not me -Ed.)

smoking junk

In a statement released by his campaign, Taint (not me) maintains his innocence and insists the facts, once known, will back him up. He claims he was in Key Largo to speak before a local group and also take in some deep sea fishing. The outing was successful and he caught several large tuna. He maintains this accounts for his hands bearing the strong odor of fish. When he went back to the motel to clean up, Taint states the girls were already in the room and highly inebriated when he entered. Assuming the inn had made a mistake, he went to phone the desk for corrective action when two of the girls yanked out the phone, pantsed him and forced him to drink their poisonous hard liquor until he blacked out. He awoke when police battered in the door. The girls were having a spirited pillow fight on his bed and they’d also stolen his underpants. He offered no explanation on the condoms or the lubricants, insisting they appeared after he became unconscious.

An ex-campaign spokesperson (just now quit) says all election activities will be suspended immediately, with all further efforts on hold pending the outcome of this serious investigation. Denied bail as a flight risk,  Taint remains in the Achatoochee County Jail awaiting arraignment Monday morning.

earnald busted

Citizen Taint Gets Swift-Bootied!

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